Even in episode one of Baby Reindeer, it was clear something else was going on underneath Donny’s surface. In episode two, in the wake of a date fueled by self-hate and a sexual assault, what that actually is starts to become a little more clear.
Whatever Donny is, he’s clearly somewhat of an optimist. Where that optimism comes from may not be a great place, but as he says at the beginning of the episode, he can’t bring himself to unfriend Martha, even after she makes creepy comments on every single one of his Facebook photos. After all, what if she’s just misunderstood? Or ill? Shouldn’t we be kind to everyone, even if we don’t understand them? Something like that.
Martha is making it pretty damn hard, though. She’s clearly been trailing him around town, and she sticks to him like white on rice when he’s at the bar. She thinks they’re official, something made even more complicated when, given the opportunity to cut things off, he chokes and tells her that it’s not that he doesn’t like her romantically, but he’s worried about their age difference because she’s 42. He’s younger (or he was when this took place …), so he’s worried about how they’ll have kids.
She takes this message to mean that he wants to talk about her fertility, periods, and eggs. This is horrifying, especially considering that he’s also dating a new woman, Teri, whom he met on a trans dating site. It’s not really explained why he went to the trans dating site versus your traditional Match.com, but what is clear is that he’s a pretty huge dirtbag about the whole thing. He’s given Teri a fake name, Tony, as well as a whole fake backstory. He loves talking to her online, but when he takes her out, it’s only to the dimmest bars, so there’s no danger of anyone clocking that he’s on a date with a trans woman. Donny says he hates himself for everything he’s doing, but he “can’t bear the thought of anyone finding out,” which is awful, and he knows it. “I just couldn’t move past the bullshit of my shame,” he explains.
It’s a real shame because Teri (beautifully played by Nava Mau) seems all in on Donny. She’s earnest and eager, open and kind. She’s also hot, meaning Donny is definitely punching way above his weight class. When Donny tells her about Martha, she instantly calls him out, offering sympathy while clearly saying he needs to report what’s happening. And if he doesn’t, she says, she’ll come down to the bar and deal with it herself.
Despite all Teri’s greatness, though, Donny can’t allow himself to accept her — or accept himself, rather. That’s why, later in the episode, when he goes to the gay bar to meet Teri in an attempt to seal the deal, he is all coked up, having done a key bump in a nearby phone booth. Teri’s instantly wise to him being a little altered and questions whether it’s because of Martha, who he’s clued her into. And in a way, yes, it is, because Martha’s becoming increasingly aggressive, stalking Donny in the alley behind his work, threatening “the tarts” he has photos with on Facebook, and telling him that she’s “not good with competition,” which she says “tends to bring out the worst” in her.
That’s some eerie shit, truly, but it’s also not enough for Donny to actually go to the police, something that Teri attributes to “not so much who [Martha] is, but what she gives” him. Because, as Teri reminds Donny, “love is most comforting when it’s felt one way.”
It’s also comforting (and legal!) when it’s not a total lie. After Teri jokes that it’s illegal to sleep with someone using a false identity, Donny “jokes” that his name is Donny, not Tony — a distinction that walks a thin, shitty line. And when Teri invites him home with her, he goes, even knowing that he’s stringing her along in a way that’s not only awful but also deeply personally disappointing. When a drunk Teri goes in for a kiss on the tube, Donny gets paranoid about a couple of blokes sitting nearby, wondering if they’ll realize he’s kissing a trans woman. He steps backward off the train at the next stop, leaving a stricken Teri standing there, shocked.
Later, in a cab, Donny says, “It’s so devastating to think of yourself as a progressive person only to realize you’re a coward underneath it all,” something that I’m sure a lot of people can relate to in one way or another. Still, as he explains, “When you spend so long swallowing your shame, it is so hard to stop it becoming part of you.”
What Donny’s been swallowing seems pretty bad, too, as we learn when he runs into Martha down by the canal later that night. She is trying to be coy, but it’s creepy. She’s trying to make good on “his” plea for anal, and she’s tired of him being all hot and cold with her — in her mind, at least. Donny tries to walk away and to get by her, but Martha says that men who don’t fancy her are “either blind or gay,” leaving Donny to flail around in an effort to try and forcefully insist that he’s not gay. Martha says that Donny must be upset not because of her but because of the person who hurt him, who she reckons was a man.
That’s when Donny really takes off, run-walking away, only to be chased down by Martha. She’s a terrifying, almost eerie presence, and it’s pretty damn scary, even as a viewer. When Donny stops to push her away and let her know he’s serious, there’s a quick scuffle, and suddenly, she slips a hand below his belt. If she really believes he’s making advances, then you can see how her twisted brain would get to that place, but for him and every other sane person, it’s a massive, horrible violation. (The sexual assault of a male is also not something we often see in media, making this scene both shocking and laudable.) Donny’s clearly taken aback, freezing as Martha strokes him, some horrible memory unlocked. He says stop, but she says “keep still,” a phrase that seems to resonate with something deep in his soul.
As he quivers, Martha leans in, marveling that she’s made his heart race. It’s awful on many levels, but it’s also intriguing: What happened to Donny, and will he take advantage of Martha’s insanity to exact revenge on whoever caused him such pain? Or will his whole world implode before he even gets the chance?
Reindeer Tales
• Honestly, I could try to transcribe Martha’s wild emails and texts, but it’s weirdly hard. Autocorrect undoes all her typos, and even making my brain make those mistakes is a challenge. (That’s not a humblebrag, I promise.) But if you’re watching the show, you’ve seen them, so you get the picture.
• Martha wants to name her kids with Donny Eggbert, Neo, and either Keith or Reith, depending on how you read her handwriting.
• Martha’s mental, but she’s also got some great lines, like “If you stick it in the 2, you don’t get the 2.4.”
• Teri threatens to come down to Donny’s pub to tell Martha to back the fuck off. While that whole scenario makes me more worried for Teri than Martha, I’d still like to see it go down.
