The Royals Smeared Meghan Markle’s Jam

Published: April 25, 2024
Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: Getty

Come on and slam, and welcome to the jam. At the height of global concern over the whereabouts of Princess of Wales Kate Middleton in March, Meghan Markle decided it would be the most opportune time to make a very important announcement of her own: She’s launching a line of jellies and jams! Sorry, that probably downplays the grandeur that is her new brand, American Riviera Orchard. She’ll also sell marmalade and spreads, plus dinnerware and kitchen linens. It’s all very Williams-Sonoma, the height of Galleria-core elegance and befitting an American duchess. Until recently, this was all just a big brand launch with nothing yet to show for it; products aren’t up on the site yet, though you can sign up for the wait list.

But earlier this month, Markle started seeding (jam pun?) jams from an initial run of 50 jars to friends and influential people. The flavor? Strawberry. The presentation? Nestled in gift baskets full of lemons. Friends posted the jam to their Instagram Stories as early as April 15, and celebrities like Mindy Kaling, Kris Jenner, Tracee Ellis Ross, and Chrissy Teigen following suit with Teigen even posting a Reel to her grid on Wednesday, April 24, the same day that Jenner posted it to her Stories. The jam “made us happy for the entire weekend,” Teigen wrote in a caption for the video, which shows her pairing the jam with bread, butter, Brie, and bacon. “Obsessed,” Kaling captioned her Insta Story.

If your Insta algorithm knows you like royals drama, cute jams, and the Strawberry Girl aesthetic, you would think your Explore page would be wall-to-wall American Riviera Orchard. You’d be wrong. Because that same day, the British Palace declared war on America … in jarred form. The official Instagram page for the Buckingham Palace gift shop posted a reel of their own on April 24, advertising their own jars of Windsor Castle strawberry preserve.

The timing could not be more pointed. Prior to Wednesday, the page had not made a jam-centric post since February 2023, and even that one saw their strawberry preserve sharing the stage with her sisters, Scottish heather honey and fine-cut marmalade. Oh sure, their strawberry-jam jar had snuck its way into the background of a couple of still-life images, like one for the Royal Teas cookbook (“Will you be doing any Easter baking this week?” reads the caption) and another for “International Picnic Day” (“Explore picnic accessories at the link in our bio.”) Now, all of a sudden, they’re posting a whole Reel of glamorous, frankly sexy strawberry-preserve close-ups?!?! Demonstrating how you can use it four ways on a scone, a crumpet, a croissant, or even toast?!?!?!??!?! Egregious! They’ve got that stiff upper lip over at the palace, but trust that this is the equivalent of a full diss track. It’s shots fired.

The post really goes buck(ingham) wild with the caption: “Our Strawberry Preserve is made using only the finest berries and is delicious served in a variety of ways.” Is the official Royal Collection gift shop implying that Markle is using berries that are less than fine? To quote the Welsh poet Tayce, “the cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity, and the gumption!” And when you click on the Linktree in their bio, the top link on the Royal Collection Shop page is “Jam and Marmalade”!

Meanwhile, there is an all-out brawl going down in the comments of the posts. “Very tacky, low blow, that was entirely immature and unecessary. I thought Buckingham Pakace was supposed to exude class and grace. Guess not,” wrote user cashagoody. “Why buy an imposter when you can have the real royal strawberry jam!” countered user brentmanwife. Other users are just taking a step back and watching the world burn, like user stephanieperron, who wrote, “Plates are flying in Montecito.”

To Markle’s credit, this is a nice reminder that launching American Riviera Orchard is a less tacky move than her critics would have you believe. Look at the whole damn gift-shop apparatus of the Firm! They’ve got more merch than a Hard Rock Cafe. But to Buckingham Palace’s credit, the preserves are priced at a fairly reasonable 3.95 pounds, which comes out to nearly $5, for a little 200-mg. jar. Not bad for a stocking stuffer. American Riviera Orchard has yet to list prices, though those jars look built to gouge. I wouldn’t be shocked at $18 or more.

All of this is just spreading confiture conjecture, though, until Vulture can hold an official taste test that meets our rigorous food-journalism standards. Meghan, please get us on that early jam-distribution list! Watch this space for breaking updates. This is shaping up to be quite the compote-ition.

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