DESCRIPTION:
IT ISN'T DONE
(Cole Porter)

My dutiful servants, I come to you
On a matter extremely vital.
A certain American parvenue
Has a daughter who needs a title.

I've hunted all over and finally met
A prince who desires to win her,
And so, as a matter of etiquette,
Her ma's giving a dinner.

To celebrate her daughter's fate
Mamma's giving a dinner.

The people she told me I should invite
Have all been engaged for ages,
So if you masquerade as the guests tonight
I promise to raise your wages.
But as about your behavior
I'm still in a state of doubt.
I want to give you several rules for dining out.

As we've been waiting for ages
To get a raise in our wages,
We're nat'rally perfectly willing to listen
To several rules for dining out.

Don't start the dinner by saying grace,
It isn't done.
Don't wrap the napkin around your face,
It isn't done.
If you see the man who's next to your wife
Giving her the time of her life,
Don't begin to sharpen your knife,
It isn't done.

Don't hit the person across from you with bits of toast.
And don't, when dinner is nearly through, say, "Who's the host?"
You may be tempted to steal a bit of the silver just for fun,
By the fact remains, it simply isn't done.