"All The Times" - Rich Ferguson / Spoken Word (www.rich-ferguson.com) - Video
PUBLISHED: May 31, 2008
DESCRIPTION: A feast of sight and sound. This spoken word & music video is directed by the amazing Mark Wilkinson. It features Paul Garrison (Rickie Lee Jones) on guitar; Rich Mangicaro (Glenn Frey) on drums, and Travis Randal on bass.
Also starring: 1) Faith Willman 2) Ashley Patterson 3) Andrea Davis 4) Annika Marks 5) Lulu Brud 6) Sylvia Pornacione 7) Erin Tylski 8) Ashley Rideaux 9) Niki Hersh 10) Alexandra Chun 11) Celia Anne Browne 12) Niki Leydecker 13) Libby Myers 14) Annunziata Gianzero 15) J.J. Pyle 16) Ron Roggé
Words:
"All The Times"
All the times I stuck something up my nose and couldn’t get it out: 2. All the times I said “Under Dog” instead of “Under God” when reciting the Pledge of Allegiance as a kid: 41; 15 by accident; 26 on purpose. All the times I made prank phone calls to bowling alleys: 59; to bars: 68; to some random schmoe I picked from the phonebook: 197. All the times I spoke in Pig Latin: 45. All the times I yelled for some band other than Lynrd Skynrd to play “Free Bird:” 6. All the times I regretted not wearing underwear for fear of suddenly dying in public: 31. All the times I worn swim fins in public: 80; as a joke: 3; in all seriousness: 77. All the times I received the Congressional Medal of Honor, the Nobel Peace Prize, or the James Beard Cooking Award: 0. All the times I kissed someone of the opposite sex, including my mother: 13,601. All the times I woke up in a strange bed and didn’t know how I got there: 5. All the times someone pointed a gun at me and threatened my life: 3. All the times I took mushrooms: 7; acid: 4; smoked pot: 53. All the times I witnessed dogs get locked up while having sex: 2. All the times I accidentally witnessed my parents having sex: 2. All the times I had dreams of losing hair: 44; losing teeth: 33; being naked in public: 42; being late for a test: 51; flying: 83. All the times I lied to my parents: 3,018. All the times I think they lied to me: 12,644. All the times I was over-dressed for an occasion: 5. Underdressed: 69. All the times I sold something door-to-door, Fuller Brush: 1; newspapers: 4; greeting cards: 6. All the times I lost my car keys: 10; money: 33. Drugs: I can’t remember. All the times I pulled off insect wings for no good reason other than curiosity, stupidity, or cruelty: 15. All the times I cheated on a test: 23. On a girl: 2. All the times I used God’s name in vain: 258. All the times he’s used my name in vain: 0, I think. All the times I murdered strangers in my thoughts: 541; loved ones: 3,567. All the times I shoplifted: 8; got caught: 2. All the times I stayed up all night just so that I could see the sunrise: 45. All the times I bought a product that said I’d either get rich, gain confidence, find God, zap pimples, attract girls: 10,316. All the times I wished I had more time: Way too many times.