DESCRIPTION:
Lyrics by MZ Smith (below). Released in 2009 on Kolour.

It feels dirty
Cheating on myself with you
Take another drink and laugh
Put my spirit on silent
Know it will be angrily awaiting my return
So I avoid going home
Practice fast-talking
Accusations and lies
Accountability gets lost in the fight
Slam the door behind me
Covered ears, closed eyes
I'm not accustomed to this
Business of deception and fear

It feels dirty

Cold-sweat-shaking
At the heaviness here
So
Costume constricting, but they'll never know
Though my soul remains intensely aware
Of my every indiscretion
I lie bare

Sometimes I want to sear your hand into my flesh
Maybe then I'll feel less alone
Facing myself
I'm drowning in a sea of band-aids
Wading my way towards matter
I can't remember what matters

Jimi Hendrix said the only reason people care when you die
Is because they haven't stopped using you yet

It feels dirty

Trying to collect on empty promises
Wrap myself up in receipts
Shouting "THIS IS WHAT YOU TOLD ME!"
Embalmed in what you owe me

I can't even imagine letting you love me
Intensifies the insult of my infidelity
It feels dirty
Cheating on myself in search of matter
I am disintegrating is- land (no matter)

Don't weep for me, I belong to the sea
And soon will fade your image of me
Already this moment's a memory
As I return to me