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I hate to recycle - It's a lot of work
Dividing garbage makes me feel just like a jerk.
Got a carbon footprint the size of Peru.
I like my S.U.V., and my hair spray too.
You want to scold me, but before you begin.
I was so hungry once....

I ate a vegan
Yeah, I ate a vegan

Sure, I could set my heat, a few degrees lower,
But then it would only get warmer . . . slower
Eco friendly bulbs are more respectful
But toss all my old light bulbs, well that's neglectful!
You want to rebuke me, but before you begin.
Well, you've heard the story...

I ate a vegan
Yeah, I ate a vegan

You know I like to triple bag it.
Wasting trees, is disrespectful as Bob Saget.
There are plenty of ways to save our ecology
And I'm no expert in Paleoclimatology
And look, while I agree
That I could be more green
I think you're really missing the bigger point of the song here

I ate a vegan
Yeah, I ate a vegan ...(I was hungry! What was I supposed to do?)
(He tasted like chicken!)
(Deeeeeeeelicious)
(I could go for one now)