DESCRIPTION:
I wrote these songs over 20 years ago for a class project based on 'The Twits' by Roald Dahl, and then revived them earlier in 2012 for a school production. Hope someone enjoys them and maybe finds them useful!
VERSE 1
I'm old and I'm hairy and my beard's full of food / I hate good manners 'cos I like to be rude / My wife's fat and ugly, with warts on her nose / And flies follow her wherever she goes

CHORUS
We're the Twits, we're the Twits / We're a nasty smelly pair of old nits / I've been growing this beard for most of my life / It's dirty and it's greasy and so is my wife
(Second chorus...I've been wearing these socks for most of my life...
Third chorus....I've been wearing these pants for most of my life)
VERSE 2
We're very fond of nature like the birds in the sky / So we catch 'em and we pluck 'em and we bake 'em in a pie / If kids come in our garden, here's what we do / Invite them in for supper then eat them too!

VERSE 3
We never wash our faces or comb our hair / We never change our bedclothes or our underwear / For miles around you can smell our cheesy feet / No wonder no-one else wants to live on our street