DESCRIPTION:
Lord Voldemort for President (Voldemort Nagini 2016)

I was re-reading Deathly Hallows & was struck by the many parallels between the rise to power of both Lord Voldemort and Donald Trump, and this sorta just wrote itself.

It's probably better w/ headphones & definitely watch with captions on cause I'm doing a british accent and trying to sound like a man and it was a bit of a muggle struggle haha

I wrote the lyrics and did the underlying score on keys (variations on Hedwig's Theme & Harry's Wondrous World). 

Please vote. November 8th.

"If you grab her by the phoenix, I'll grab you the wand"
Phoenix grabs back, am I rite?

--

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--


Voldemort:
Sorry Trump but there can only be one 
Man evil enough to ruin everyone's fun 
So take a step back and crawl back into your hole
Because you're just a muggle and have only one soul
I split mine into seven - 
And that wasn't enough 
Still didn't get into heaven 
And purgatory is rough 

Bellatrix:
If you wanna build a horcrux

Voldemort:
Lemme make a suggestion 
Use that mop on your head 
To help win the election 

Bellatrix:
Kill an innocent soul 

Voldemort:
-- which I know you would do 
as Commander in Chief with access to nukes
Then infuse that soul into a toupee 
And * just like that - it's the end of days 
Which your reign will bring 
With your fear mongering 
And your bigoted stance on literally everything. 

(zen voldemort trying to find his center)

Bellatrix:
How did you rise to power? 

Voldemort:
I manipulated the press
I shut them down, infiltrated, and caused quite a mess
Scaring all the little wizards I knew into submission 
Turning wizards on muggles 
Forcing a division 
Between two groups of people 
Who are really the same

Bellatrix:
Pure bloods and muggles 

Voldemort:
There's no difference to make!
I made up lies just to get more power 
Which is what you are doing, every news hour 

Bellatrix:
His marketing's genius

Voldemort:
Oh this I know 
Because yelling the loudest makes your numbers grow

Bellatrix:
You aren't classy, you're trashy 
You pick fights like a bully 
And you don't seem to understand policy fully 
Do you wanna build a walllll? 

Voldemort:
Please don't waste your time 

Bellatrix:
Immigration reform 
It's not time to divide   

Voldemort:
Latinos aren't rapists

Bellatrix: 
That sounds a lot like projection 

Voldemort:
You have rape allegations 

Bellatrix:
Yet you're in this election

Both:
Treat your neighbor as you treat thyself
I see Mein Kampf not a bible on your shelf 

Voldemort:
You don't speak for me, because you're actually worse
And this is comingg from a man who used the killing curse 
On a baby.

(mic/wand drop)

Bellatrix:
You spin lies, you insult women and LGBT
You came from a trust fund and reality TV
you're lying to the people who are voting for you 

Voldemort:
A self-made man? 

Bellatrix:
After what your father left you?

Voldemort:
I came from no thing, Trump

Bellatrix:
He was poor and alone
You, on the other hand, were born on a throne

Both:
The media's eatin ya from the palm of your hand
So I'm back from the dead to take one final stand 

Voldemort:
Now, I never had a daughter, but you know, if I did **lol cursed child
I don't think I'd have the heart to call women pigs 

Bellatrix:
You can't be a good leader if you're not a good father 
You just can't be president 
if you said you'd date your daughter 

Voldemort:
If you grab her by the *phoenix*
I'll grab you by the wand

Bellatrix:
But yours is so small 
How do you ever get it on?

Both:
It doesn't make sense
Have we cast some spell 
On the American people 
Of some fascist Hell?

Voldemort:
I pity you Trump, for your life without love
I learned a thing or two watching down from above

Both:
People are people, no matter their race
No matter their religion or color of their face 
And even though you have an orangish glow 
I hate you because of your inflated ego 

Voldemort:
So, I'll say this to those at the RNC
I'm available if you choose to nominate me 
I've got a snake for my VP, her names Nagini
Consider this my entry for the presidency