DESCRIPTION:
Lyrics:

We was travellin' across the U.S.A.
And made it on out to Californ-I-A
Me and a pal and a budget rental car
We grabbed some bourbon from out the trunk
Went out to the beach, got good and drunk
I picked some banjo and he just strummed guitar

We had smoked the last of the road trip stash
So we packed the car and we grabbed our cash
Went lookin' for a native and got back behind the wheel
When we found a guy who seemed in the know
We hollered on out, "Now hey there, bro...
How's about you cut me and my friend a deal"

He said "what's your poison?" I said, "Weed"
He asked me if that's all I need
So I said, "Shit man, what else you got to sell?"
So he looked around and he told me plain
"I got some pills that help with pain"
So I thought it over and figured "what the hell"

We haggled and we negotiated
He'd quote a price that I debated
'Till finally I got the drugs at a discount rate
I took a swig of the ole' George Dickel
Figured best be returnin' our rental vehicle
So we smoked a fattie and headed back out of state

We toted along, and we caught a buzz
I couldn't even tell you where we was
I was stoned retarded there in the passenger seat
When all of a sudden a cop pulls up behind
Puts his sirens on, I nearly lost my mind
On account of the pharmacy we was packin' by my feet

CHORUS:
Oh Lawman, whatcha want with me?
There ain't no one for miles in this God's country
We ain't causin' no trouble
We ain't crossin' any lines
Won't you let some good old boys go by?

Come to find out we crossed into ole' Utah
Which might explain Mr. Johnny Law
And the toothless grin he had all over his Mormon dome
As he neared our car with a cheetah's speed
His nostrils flared, said "it smells like weed"
And I thought, "Good lord, I ain't never gettin' home"

Well friends and neighbors, my heart sank
Cause Cali bud smells so goddamn dank
That if I told you our car didn't wreak... I'd be liein'
He said, "are you are doper?" I said, "I ain't"
I'm on a mission for the church of latter day saints
But he eyed me down and I could see he wasn't buyin'

He grinned again said, "Now here's the deal
Step on out of this here automobile"
And I said, "You gotta be kidding, man, I'm on vacation!"
So he searched the car as we sat in the mud
He found our pills and he found our bud
Read us our rights and hauled us off to the police station

And days went by, I couldn't catch a wink
As we waited and we worried in that desert clink
The floor was hard and the bars were mighty real
The guards just laughed as they served us slop
And stripped us down from stem to top
It seemed, by all accounts, our fate was sealed

CHORUS

I said, "Look we didn't hurt no one
We's just out ramblin' for a little fun"
But I could tell the pig only had a pair of deaf ears
We played jail stud for the dinner tray
And tried to while the slow time away
With stories of home, and girls and better years

We met a man who had a newborn son
He hadn't seen since nineteen eighty-one
And a Paiute chief whose old home was four-times raided
"Lawmen out here," he said, "are worse than crooks
They'll steal your bread as they burn your books
So forgive us, bros, if we seem a little jaded"

Another guy, an honest Afghan vet
Was serving time for a filtered cigarette
Which apparently breached the terms of his probation
And the more we listened and the more we heard
It was plain Cedar City was quite absurd
And we began to fall into concrete desperation

Finally after months we were summoned to court
The judge was a well-scrubbed righteous sort
And I trembled in my cuffs as he glared down with his beady eyes
He said, "I'm sure you two are reprobates
But you're lucky that today I've got a fuller plate
I'll let you go if you promise not to drink or lie"

CHORUS

We nearly shouted "Yes Sir," as they cut us loose
So glad for not returning to the calaboose
We skipped town quick and drove straight to the Nevada line
Then just as we could see our promised land
Smell that hotel water, feel that winning hand
A cruiser skidded right out and crossed the double line

It was the same blonde trooper we'd met before
He had the look of a guy out to settle a score
And our blood just froze at the sight of his barnyard smile
"Well hello," he said, "my dear and long lost friends
I'm so glad we had this chance to meet again
Why for a second I thought you'd even reach that final mile"

"It seems to me your tail light's shot out.
Broken down in impound, " he laughed, "no doubt
But I've really got a bone to pick with what you got down here"
And then from out his ole village people shirt
He pulled out a baggie and he threw it in the dirt
He said "it seems you boys ain't been keepin' straight and clear.

"Now look here, man!" We both protested
"You know that ain't ours, It can't be contested
You're a lying sack and you know you oughta let us be"
But the he called for back-up, said "I've got possession
You see boys you might have learned a lesson.
But this is Iron County and there ain't no one who's free!"