DESCRIPTION:
Lyrics:

[Jacob]
Let me tell you of a tale
Full of family fun
It's about a bloody feud
And murders yet to come

Years ago my ancestors
Roamed this vast landscape
They are what you call werewolves
Since they can change their shape

Then the Cold Ones trespassed here
In my elders' youth
We were welcoming at first,
But then we learned their truth

They stayed in on sunny days,
As Bram Stoker penned
And at night they drank the blood
Of our woodland friends


Oh? What's this?
It's about to get funky on this reservation!
(Wihl! Hla'o! Qa'al! Ba'iyas!)

And with that we all agreed
That we should retract
Our initial invitation
With a sacred pact

"No more Cold Ones on our land,"
Said our wheelchaired chief
Never would our tribe forgive
Their cold-blooded deceit

But since they were bitter they
Would not quite retreat:
To our shock and outrage they
Just moved a couple feet

Don't ask who the Cold Ones are:
You know them by name
For the Cullens and the Cold Ones
Are one and the same

Human-eating, brutal feeding, blending in with you and me
We're all haters 'cause they're traitors; now they're banned by our decree
Edward, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie.
Cold skin killers, warm blood spillers, twisted thrillers, can't you see?

Keep your distance, just resist 'em, for your safety you must flee
Anne Rice-reading, forceful bleeding, feasting on your arteries
Edward, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie
Lurking danger, something stranger, horror and calamity!

Just stay away from Edward
Or you'll wind up his food!
Now you know the
Killer Cullen crew.