DESCRIPTION:
I'd like to share my thoughts about Ted Cruz on the day he declares his candidacy for President of the United States. I don't know Ted personally, but I don't get the impression that he's a super-nice guy. Perhaps he will prove me wrong as he undertakes his campaign!

WARNING This song contains profanity, although I would argue that it's an artistic imperative in this case.

Ted Cruz

The junior senator from Texas
Flashes a cryptic smile
Introduces legislation
Reaches across the aisle
If one hand holds a carrot, the other hides a stick
Ted Cruz seems like a dick

Firmly anti-immigration
A hawk and a deficit scold
Whose uncompromising vision
Reminds me of my four year old
Whose infantile eruptions are at best impolitic
Ted Cruz seems like a dick

Lately in the news
Ted fucking Cruz
Is all anyone talks about
But is Rand fucking Paul
The scariest of all?
Maybe: the jury is out

The junior senator from Texas
The one with the perfect hair
Bludgeons me with ideology
And leaves my just lying there
Today, a revelation hit me like a ton of bricks:
Ted Cruz seems like a dick