DESCRIPTION:
Adam Kantor singing "The Phone Call" by Ewalt and Walker. From the original musical, "Bromance: The Dudesical."

Performed at "An Evening with Ewalt and Walker: Just a Couple of Dudes Who Like to Write Songs" at Playwrights Horizons Mainstage Theater, NYC, June 15, 2009.

Updated Lyrics:

I SHOULD JUST GIVE UP,
WHAT WAS I THINKING ANYWAY?
IT’S NEVER GONNA WORK.
WE MET AT A BAR,
WE WERE BOTH DRUNK,
IT WAS ST. PADDY’S DAY FOR CHRIST’S SAKE
AND WHO CAN’T FAKE A CONNECTION ON ST. PADDY’S DAY?
IT DIDN’T MEAN JACK…I’M NOT EVEN IRISH

BUT WE HAD SO MUCH FUN
I MEAN, I LAUGHED TILL I CRIED
THERE WERE TEARS IN MY EYES
I NEED TO RELAX, IT’S TRUE, I NEED SOMEONE LIKE YOU

I’M GONNA TAKE THIS CHANCE
I CAN DIAL THOSE KEYS
WHAT HAVE I GOT TO LOSE?
I SHOULD JUST ASK HIM

DUDE, DO YOU WANNA BE MY BRO?
MAN, IT’S GONNA BE SO GREAT,
WE’LL HAVE A REALLY GOOD TIME, I CAN’T WAIT
WATCHIN’ B-BALL, DRINKIN’ BUDS
PLAYIN’ WII ALL NIGHT LIKE STUDS
SO WON’T YOU PLEASE COME ON AND BE MY BRO?
BE MY BRO

HE PROB’LY DIDN’T EVEN LIKE ME THAT MUCH LAST NIGHT
HE THINKS I’M A CREEP,
SOME OVERLY-EAGER, FRIENDSHIPLESS FREAK
WHO’S WOUND UP WAY TOO TIGHT TO BE COOL
OH GOD, DID I SEND HIM A FACEBOOK FRIEND REQUEST?
DIRECT FROM MY IPHONE? WHILE STANDING IN FRONT OF HIM?

THAT WAS SO FUCKED UP
DOESN’T MATTER IN THE END
CAUSE MEN DON’T CALL OTHER MEN
BUT CAN I BREAK THE RULE?
I’M SO CONFUSED, WHAT SHOULD I DO?


DON’T WANT TO MISS MY CHANCE
I CAN DIAL HIM UP
WHAT HAVE I GOT TO LOSE? I SHOULD JUST ASK HIM

AND IT WAS FATE, WHEN YOU SPILLED YOUR BEER ON ME,
I WAS SO READY TO BE PISSED
BUT THEN YOU TOLD ME, “HEY MAN, IT’S ONLY FAIR
SPILL ONE ON ME DUDE, I INSIST”
BUT AS I WENT TO TIP MY GLASS,
I KNEW I’D FOUND A FRIEND AT LAST,
I’VE NEVER FELT SO FREE BEFORE,
CAN’T KEEP FROM CALLING ANYMORE,
DON’T WANNA LOSE MY NERVE, I BETTER MAKE IT FAST!

Marty dials the phone. He grimaces when he gets a voicemail beep.

Hey Dick, I, um, hey, this, um Dick, I met you, I mean, we met, last night, at the bar. And, hey dude, was gonna text, but I didn’t know what your data plan was like - so I’m just callin’, you know, like a guy, callin’ another guy, you know, nothin’ more just callin’, so you know, if you want to call me back, you totally should. Lates! Bro.

OK, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? I didn’t even leave my name or number! HE’S NOT GOING TO CALL ME BACK, HE WON’T CALL BA –

Marty picks up his phone.

Hey, Dick. How’s it going? Tonight? Yeah, um, let me check my schedule. Yeah, I’m free. Dude. Awesome. See you tonight.

DUDE, NOW YOU’RE GONNA BE MY BRO!
MAN, IT’S GONNA BE SO GREAT
WE’LL HAVE A REALLY GOOD TIME
I CAN’T WAIT
WATCHIN’ B-BALL, DRINKIN’ BUDS
PLAYIN’ WII ALL NIGHT LIKE STUDS
AND FOR ETERNITY YOU’RE GONNA BE MY BRO!
BE MY BRO
MY BRO
BE MY BRO
BE MY BRO
BE MY BRO
YOU’RE GONNA BE MY BRO!