DESCRIPTION:
Lyrics

Verse
I flow from my soul, each part's my heart
Everybody's blown away like "yo this kid's hard"
But they don't see the inside where I'm sick and scarred
I'm just ripped apart, feel like I missed my mark
I feel selfish cuz of all the pain I've caused
It's the same pain feelin' like the reigns I've lost
Like I'm headin' for the ledge, I oughta pay the cost
For all the years I was an addict, made it rain on us
My wife keeps tellin' me I'm way too hard
On myself but she can't trust me with the credit card
I've been sober 4 months and I'm still upset
I can't even be proud 'cause we're still in debt
I can't look into the mirror cause I feel regret
And I hate the sight of anyone I don't respect
I keep prayin' for relief but don't feel none yet
Feel like I'm walkin' on this rope with no safety net

Hook
(X2) It's hard to feel it's ever gonna turn around
Lately I'm just feelin' so far down
I'm gettin' by da da da da
I'm gettin' by da da da da

Verse
I've had the same tune playin' in my mind for days
And it's hard to see the light when stuck inside this haze
And unlike back in the day I'm not high today
So there isn't any place I can hide away
I just face every heartbreak, pain and walk
I feel like I haven't been a dad to Trav at all
Been too worried bouta high at night, in the mornings I'm back on the hunt, no fun until I pay it off
Ain't no time to be playful, I had to stay hard so they didn't see me freak
I would disappear for 10 minutes, come back blacked out and I wouldn't be me for weeks and I'd seem relieved
for a bit then I'd be mean n scream
over absolutely nothin', I'd just start buggin', tear the house up fussin' n cussin', what a husband I could be, had my wife like

Hook
(X2) It's hard to feel it's ever gonna turn around
Lately I'm just feelin' so far down
I'm gettin' by da da da da
I'm gettin' by da da da da

Verse
Now I think back with a head so clear
That it's hard to fight back all these regretful tears
I just feel so outta line
do I even have the right
to sit and let out a cry
When it's my fault? Years
Go by I can see the damage that I've done
Sometimes I just wanna load this gun up but
That's another selfish thought I get
To dip, it's just the way that I can think to show my love
That I care
even though she says that she knows
It don't take away the nights I left that home
To go ghost, just to get another dose then I'd always overdose pass out wake up like oh
Say I'm sorry but this time I really am, I quit
The high isn't worth the times I feel like this
I wrote this song just to let it out a bit
maybe you forgive me but we can't forget that

Hook
(X2) It's hard to feel it's ever gonna turn around
Lately I'm just feelin' so far down
I'm gettin' by da da da da
I'm gettin' by da da da da