DESCRIPTION:
An apostrophe to apostrophes.

What YouTube does to text that is cut-and-pasted:

Oh, little dots above the line,
Like commas in the air!
A rightly placed apostrophe
Has charms beyond compare.
Like feathers sticking in the cap
Of a jaunty little word,
Set right you look delightful, but
Worn wrong you look absurd.

I love to see you in your place,
Like starlight in the dark;
Its sad when youre forgotten,
Not allowed to make your mark.
Though better that, than finding you
Somewhere you shouldnt be,
Like flies upon an ice cream
Or a donkey up a tree.

On labels in so many shops,
I see the same mistakes;
The baker has apostrophes
On all his pies and cakes.
Greengrocers use you constantly,
As if nobody cares,
Like measles, when they advertise
Their apples and their pears.

I get wound up by things like these;
I wont pretend I dont,
So I wont be too happy when
I try, as is my wont,
To cut-and-paste these lyrics and
Upload them with my song,
For though theyre right in Word,
When theyre on YouTube theyll look wrong.

For all my dear apostrophes
Will simply be undone
Unless I go to Edit and
Replace you one by one.
Look whats become of Ill!
It may be difficult to tell:
One hundred and eleven?
Or does it mean unwell?

Oh little dots, such foolish things
To hold so very dear!
But though I get annoyed when those
Ive used just disappear,
Apostrophes where none should be
Are much the greater sin;
And much the same as flatulence,
Youre better out than in.

Here are the lyrics with all the apostrophes put back in!

Oh, little dots above the line,
Like commas in the air!
A rightly placed apostrophe
Has charms beyond compare.
Like feathers sticking in the cap
Of a jaunty little word,
Set right you look delightful, but
Worn wrong you look absurd.

I love to see you in your place,
Like starlight in the dark;
It's sad when youre forgotten,
Not allowed to make your mark.
Though better that, than finding you
Somewhere you shouldn't be,
Like flies upon an ice cream
Or a donkey up a tree.

On labels in so many shops,
I see the same mistakes:
The baker has apostrophes
On all his pies and cakes.
Greengrocers use you constantly,
As if nobody cares,
Like measles, when they advertise
Their apples and their pears.

I get wound up by things like these;
I won't pretend I don't,
So I won't be too happy when
I try, as is my wont,
To cut-and-paste these lyrics and
Upload them with my song,
For though they're right in 'Word',
When they're on YouTube they'll look wrong.

For all my dear apostrophes
Will simply be undone
Unless I go to Edit and
Replace you one by one.
Look what's become of I'll!
It may be difficult to tell:
One hundred and eleven?
Or does it mean unwell?

Oh little dots, such foolish things
To hold so very dear!
But though I get annoyed when those
I've used just disappear,
Apostrophes where none should be
Are much the greater sin;
And much the same as flatulence,
You're better out than in.

Words and music ©Paddy Wex 2009