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Remember when hitchhiking used to be a thing? Evidently people just walked around for extended periods of time, and other people (usually while drinking and driving) would just pick them up, offering them a can of beer. Very few serial killers, a lot of weirdos, but for the most part, things just kind of worked out up until the 70s. Imagine telling your parents today that you’ll be hitchhiking across the country soon. You might as well be telling them to call the funeral home right now on your behalf. Still, The Bearded Man has never lived a life of fear! He’s always seen his beard as an inherent sign of trustworthiness. That’s why he boldly hitchhikes whenever he feels like it. Sure, drivers may yell at a cute girl on the side of the road, but people only really know someone is serious when they see a lengthy beard. Sometimes cars stop, look back, absorb the glory of his facial hair, and then say to themselves: “Alright, this guy’s obviously legit.” And they’re usually right. Frank Pole was in the car with Knightly one day, and picking up The Bearded Man was the best decision of their lives.

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