DESCRIPTION:
A Tanners Manners/Marshall Law Production
Lyrics by Jessica Bloustein Marshall
Video & audio production by Adam David Kissick
Starring Adam Kissick, Jessica Bloustein, Christy Kissick and a cameo by "Professional Geek" Rick Marshall.

**No shoes were harmed in the making of this video.

Lyrics:
Walking down the street ain't fun no more
I got an extra three inches--makes me nothin' but sore.
I go creepin' every day with my head held high
Lookin' hot with my footwear. But inside I wanna die.

They cut off circulation and I can't get a grip.
I'd take a time out but they make me hobble and trip
Sciatic actin' up-- man I can't take this no more
What a damn cryin' shame they looked so cute at the store

I get so excited bout slippin' them on.
Feel so light on my feet, lookin' good like I want
My pride is very sensitive, I'm a bird, on a wire
You won't even know it but my feet are on fire.

Chorus:
Why can't I just wear sensible shoes?
Cushion my feet from tenderness and a bruise.
Wish I could just wear sensible shoes.
With padding and gel I know I'll never lose!

When the honeys in the house be strutting their stuff
We be tripping like a stoner on a bender of snuff
Wibblin wobbling all over throw off my balance enough

Dude:
Don't know what that feels like but das gotta be rough! Girl?

Why can't I be like a dancer en pointe?
But I ain't no ballerina with broken toes and hip joints
Gettin dressed like this? I gotta bust a move
But these ridiculous shoes just keep stealing my groove

My heart rate goes up, my calfs start to burn
Sneakers would be better, don't know why I'll never learn
Stilettos are a must, of this I insist
I wanna break it down but all I can manage is this. (lame dance)

Chorus

The blisters take over... little alien pods!
Got nuff corns on my toes to make some corn on the cob.
It hurts so much to walk but I gotta keep on
Here I go, ow my ankle! Now my mojo is gone!

You got any idea how embarrassing it can be?
I be plodding down the road just shambling like a zombie
When it's dark, when it's light when it's sunny when it rains,
Should just give it all up and run around eating brainsssss.

Chorus

What's life like looking up from below
Do things go faster cuz I'm movin' too slow?
It's time to sink or swim ain't no time to back down
I ain't wearin' those shoes they make me look like a clown.

I long for a pair of my own ruby slippers
When the going gets rough, I just click them like flippers
Escaping this pain would help me so much
There's no place like home, now that would be clutch.

Mules?
They're not cool, and they sure reek a lot

Loafers?
For ibanker dads and old men with yachts

Mary Janes?
They're too plain...unless they got height

Clogs?
I don't think so get these outta my sight.

These boots are so cute, the pumps I can't dump,
This wedge has an edge...someone please help me get down off this ledge!
Take a look at my peep toes. They make me le sigh!
Do these fun little flats make me look fat? Don't lie!

Dude: girl, you're fat.

I love the way these heels make me feel
These were on sale, can't believe what a steal!
It's the half price off labels I desperately crave.
Ooh, these heels are so high that I might not behave.

My shoe fetish is heavy it's like a disease
I die a little inside when I try to appease.
This patent leather is light as a feather.
There's flip in that flop, man I just can't stop!

I'm never gonna wear no sensible shoes
That footwear's for losers why don't you get a clue!

Come on girl, let's take a hike.
Yah, let's go get some pedicures.