DESCRIPTION:
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I gone and done did roasted myself through song!

Music by Todd Bryanton: http://bit.ly/2aoSzxc
Graphics by Ken Sarafin: https://www.facebook.com/sarafinconcepts/

Special guests:

Filthy Frank: http://bit.ly/1qOJ21H
Jon Cozart: http://bit.ly/29HKeYn
Mikey Bolts: http://bit.ly/1DbqmAT
Jacksfilms: http://bit.ly/1tZiFuG
Ugly guy from Buzzfeed: http://bit.ly/1QlvE6Z


Oh hello, you've probably never heard of me.
Brock Baker's my name.
People stopped watching me years ago
and all my impressions sound the same.
If you screened my videos in a theater,
everyone would be booing.
I'm so desperate for views,
I'm doing what everyone ELSE is doing.
A Roast Myself Challenge?
That sounds pretty awesome.
I'll hop on this bandwagon
quicker than Shane Dawson
But no, let me stop there.
This is a roast about myself.
I'm 30 years old
and I have toys on my shelf.
Been on Youtube for 10 years,
got nothing to show for it.
Next time I'm on a bridge
I should just fucking go for it!

Roast myself
I do this pretty much in all my videos anyway.
Roast myself
'Til I was in my 20s, my dad thought I was gay.
Roast myself
I'm not but this musical style isn't helping my case.
I wish I had better teeth and a handsomer face.

Transition
I'm in my kitchen makin a bitchin dish for msyelf and no one else cuz I'm perpetually single.
I barely even mingle.
Last time I had sex was with a can of Pringles®
This roast is too HOT someone turn down the burner,
I'm the most hated BROCK even more so than turner.
I'm old. I'm used up. I peaked years ago.
My rhymes suck. I'm fucked. I have terr-i-ble flow.
I was only popular off other people's success.
When asked if I wanted easy views, I answered with a "fuck yes."
Now my view count is in a downward spiral.
No one talks to me unless I'm going super viral.
But talent doesn't matter in the Youtube game.
You need to be CUTE for that internet fame.
It's a popularity contest that I just can't win.
I need tall hair and jump cuts just to fit in.
Collab with a bigger Youtuber? That'll get me views.
No thanks. I'll pass. I'm better than you.
Opportunities like that are becoming more of a rarity.
I only put Brock in MY stuff cuz I like giving to charity.
Another option is to pander, that puts me into a depression.
So tune in NEXT week for my Overwatch impressions!

Roast myself.
I'm so full of self loathing, this has been easy.
Roast myself.
Hearing myself sing makes me queasy.
Roast myself.
Hey remember when I used to be funny?
Yeah...neither do...

I often ask myself "What am I doing with my life?"
By the time I reached 30, thought I'd at LEAST have a wife.