DESCRIPTION:
8th song from Vic Chesnutt's 2009 album Skitter on Take-off, produced by Jonathan Richman and Tommy Larkin.

worst friend

you got one friend who's a flight attendant
you got one friend who likes speed
you got one friend who always wants to smoke inside of your house
you got one friend who secretly likes to get peed on, sexually
you got one friend who is oh so natural
and one friend who y'all call the retard
you got one friend who's fighting cancer
you got one friend who i bet right now is barking out in the yard

but
i'm the worst friend in the world
i'm the worst friend in the world
when you are down
i'm nowhere to be found
i'm the worst friend in the world

you got one friend who's in iraq
you got one friend who always dresses like little bo-peep
you got one friend who's in prison
you got one friend who is really really into feet sexually
you got one friend who could be a competitive eater
you got one friend who's one of those bad movie buffs
you got one friend who touched you inappropriately
you got one friend who you are opining to touch

but
i'm the worst friend in the world
i'm the worst friend in the world
when you are down
i'm nowhere to be found
i'm the worst friend in the world

you got one friend who's a mcarthur fellow
you got one friend who's a widower
you got one friend who claims to have taken a dump in the white house
you got one friend who just gave birth to twins
you got one friend who goes to the gym at least twice a day
and one friend who recovered from severe burns
you got one friend who rubbed his penis on tv's actual wheel of fortune
and one friend who y'all ain't on even speaking terms

(lyrics as i heard them - please send a correction if you find an error)