DESCRIPTION:
Jim Stafford's humorous song, "Under the Scotsman's Kilt," performed by Jesse Ferguson on bodhran. Lyrics below.

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The Scotsman's Kilt
(Jim Stafford, arrang. J. Ferguson, 2020)

V1.
A Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair,
and one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share.
He stumbled along until he could no longer keep his feet;
then staggered off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Refrain:
Ring ding diddle diddle-i-dee-o.
Ring di diddlee-i-o.
He staggered off into the grass to sleep beside the street.*

*final line of refrain matches last line of verse.

V2.
About the time two young and bonnie lasses happened by,
and one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye,
“See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt.”

V3.
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
and lifted up his kilt just and inch so they could see.
And lo behold before their eyes beneath his Scottish skirt
was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

V4.
They marveled for a moment then one said, “We must be gone,
but let's leave a present for our friend before we move along.”
As a gift they took a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
around the bonnie star the Scotsman’s kilt did lift and show.”

V5.
The Scotsman woke to nature's call, and he stumbled to a tree.
He lifted up his kilt and startled back at what he sees.
And he said as he stood there gawkin’ at the sight before his eyes,
"Lad, I don't where you've been, but I see you won first prize!"