I see that you are interested in booking me. Well, I just thought of an idea for the greatest tattoo ever. So you start with a bull dog, a big mean bulldog, and it's only got three legs, it looks like one of them was torn off in a fight with another dog or something. Someone, maybe a pirate and maybe not, grafted an honest-to-god, real fucking peg leg onto the bulldog. And one of it's eyes is missing, OK. There's a big, infected looking scar running right down it's face, where the eye used to be. Clutched in the bull dog's mouth is a human skull, and the dogs biting on it real hard, trying to fuck that skull up the best he knows how. He wants to devour that shit. Coiled around the skull, and emerging from one of the eye sockets, is a snake, a fucking king cobra, and it looks so pissed off it's not even funny. It's hissing, and venom is dripping from it's fangs. But do you know what? That doesn't mean shit, because the snake is dead. There's an Egyptian dagger going through it's head, and blood is everywhere. The snake looks pissed, but it's also confused, because it died so quick that it doesn't even know it's dead yet. And now. Now there is a god damned bald eagle hovering above the snake, and it's ready for lunch! It's talons are mere centimeters from snatching up the cobra. Did the bald eagle stab the snake? Nobody knows, and nobody ever will know. But do you know what the best part of this tattoo is? The whole thing, the dog, the snake, the bald eagle? Well, they're all on fire.
oh, so yeah, Matt goes under the alias's Secrets, Vacuum, and is 1/2 of Guys On Drugs (GOD).
