T.S.A. Gangstaz

Name: DEE-LAY

Age: 27

Employed Since: Easter (One six week suspension for "Nun-Groping.")

Shit Jacked Recently: 2 AirMac Laptops, Ralph Lauren Chaps Cologne, Nintendo DS Light, 5 bottles of Johnny Walker Blue, Size 13 Nike LeBron James VII kicks, 440 Ounces of bottled water, One Kobe steak, La Mer Skin Cream, Platinum Microphone Medallion, G4 Attack of the Show Sweatshirt, 6 cases Vitamin Water, One Puggle, 5 ounce Dry Idea Cologne.

Former Jobs: Arby's Beef Cook (May 2000 - June 2000) King's Car Wash (August 2001 - December 2001)

Currently: Banging that Starbucks Barista . in Terminal X.

Name: X-RAY

Age: Twice as old as R. Kelly's girlfriend

Ethnicity: I ain't never heard of that town. What state's it in?

Favorite food: Tuna Tsalad Tsandwich

Favorite color: Weed green

Favorite TV shows: "Tsanford and Son", scrambled porn

Favorite movies: "Snakes on a Plane", "Jackie Brown"

Favorite author: T.S.A. Eliot