Isn't it always cringe worthy when musicians start banging on about how bloody sincere they are?!! Fortunately, as a cynical English arse hole I recognise this and therefore won't boring you with it!
Here are some fascinating insights into the real Mr Tom Matchett BA (Hons), MA (Kent).
Music
Having risen from the ashes of broken bands, hearts, and brandy glasses I'm currently preparing to storm across Europe for Summer Tour in 2009 and the release of my new album, "Amazing Unfinished Rock Roll Odyssey" that will be the best and probably the greatest thing ever to have come out of, erm, me!
Living
You know, a lot of people ask me "Tom, how come you've got so many big houses, so many beautiful women, fast cars, expensive clothes and such perfectly groomed facial hair?".
And I tell them, "Well, you see believe it or not these things come as standard when you live in Crouch End, I've been enjoying the playboy lifestyle here for two years!"
Then they ask me if I will be doing another series of Magnum and I have to explain that I am not and never have been Tom Selleck. Its an easy mistake to make, and graciously I let them kneel and kiss my ring whilst singing "You Are Forgiven! Now you're forgiven baby! Now you're forgiven!! You are forgiven!!"
Style
You know, a lot of people say to me "Tom! How do you manage to be such a fashion trailblazer? The boots! The tweed! The pin stripes! You are so hot right now! The constant wearing of sunglasses, vintage underwear and the General Mojo you command at the forefront of the mod rock style army!"
And I tell them, "Well, you see, YOU my friend are not chic! You sicken me! I have never felt so much contempt for one as you! You are demode! You are non-exclusive! You remind me used disposable tissues, that must be thrown into the waste paper basket this instant!!!! Leave me now and be gone! I am chic, you are not! If I had my way I would have you deported back under the horrible little rock from which you first oozed! Never soil the pavement outside my house again with those appalling sports training plimsoles! Vamoose!!"
Leisure
You know, a lot of people say to me "Tom! How do you do it?! You are the champion of the social scene, the coolest cat, the Ace Face, Messiah of the Mojo, let us wash your feet and tend to your every need. Please let us carry your magic guitars and introduce you to our closest female relations of marriageable age so that you can have your wonderful way with them!"
And I tell 'em, "Well, you see, there is a place for us and one day we will get there. It is a good place. I still believe that rock n roll and the events in and around rock n roll has the potential to make magic and do good things. Good things happen to good people. And wherever we go from the here and the now, I sense that things are only just beginning to gather momentum. I have two key objectives for 2009, release 'Amazing Unfinished Rock n Roll Odyssey' and tour Northern Europe. After this I will complete my new rock opera, The Light Gate, which may be turned into a film. I will tour this too because I need to perform on stages and I love to write and record music. Rock n roll is such a great visceral medium and I'm flooded with ideas about what to do with it next. I'm always keen to find new people, artists, musicians, writers and film makers with whom to collaborate so feel free to get in touch and lets see some real wild action!"
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