The God Damn Pimps

Ah, the band bio. You gotta love the band bio. Is there anything more trite or meaningless than the band bio? I’ll bet you never thought an ordinary band bio could ever change your life. Well my friend, you’d be wrong. The following information may seem at first, untrue. You may find yourself saying, “ There’s no way any of this could have really happened”. But I insist, it did and t’was my duty as band scribe to record it all so as to present to you this holiest of all band bios.



In the year of our Lord, nineteen hundred and ninety-four, five men from Rockford, IL gathered together with one common yet simple goal: to change the face of music as we know it today. Okay, the first goal was to actually score some decent equipment, get a van, get out of their drummers’ ex-girlfriends’ basement and then change the face of music as we know it today.



And so it began. It didn’t take long for the band to build a name and a following. Soon, they were doing a grueling schedule of almost 3 to 4 shows a month. Some of them even including free draft beer! It was obvious the path was being laid. In 1997, the group released it’s first album and 2 years later, the inevitable happened. Record label super-giant “Hollywood Records” signed them to a deal. Hollywood Records was the driving force behind such legendary names like “She-Daisy” and boy-band sensation “Youngstown”. Hollywood immediately put them on tour with America's most beloved duo, “ The Insane Clown Posse”. Although their music was nothing alike, the 3-month coast-to-coast tour went great. Clown Posse frontmen Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope were especially impressed with The Pimps uncanny knack to score prescription drugs for them while on the road. Hollywood then put the boys on the soundtracks “Mission Impossible 2” and “Crazy Beautiful”. Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich, whose band was also lucky enough to catch their first break, was featured on the “MI2” soundtrack as well. In fact, in regards to The Pimps offering on the soundtrack, he was quoted as saying ”It’s definitely the 5th song on there”



Shortly after, The Pimps received a call from NBC. They wanted to use their runaway smash hit “Sumpin” for the now infamous racquetball scene in Episode .31 of “Third Watch”. The rest is television history.



The relationship between Hollywood Records and The Pimps then took a turn for the worse. Disney, the parent company of Hollywood, didn’t take too kindly to some of the lyrical content in the music. In fact, long time standing spokesman & cultural icon Mickey Mouse was quoted as saying “This is, and always will be, a family oriented organization that supports & advocates the wholesome qualities of life. And if you think we’re going to throw that all away for 5 potty mouthed punks from the Midwest, then you're fucked!” Not wanting to be labeled “The Bill Cosbys of rock” The Pimps dissolved the marriage between themselves and Hollywood after an unprecedented 15-month run.



Since that experience, The Pimps decided to just go back to what they have always done: doing it themselves. Since 2000, they have played over 150 shows a year throughout the Midwest. They have produced 9 independent releases that have sold more than 50,000 units. And in the process of doing this have built up mailing lists that number over 15,000 strong and counting.



You don’t believe it? If it hadn’t really happened, we would not believe it either. So check out our website at www.thepimps.org or email us at thepimps@tds.net. If you still are not satisfied, then call GT at 815-289-3217, it just might change your life.