Toni Childs

I am a human being, a woman, a singer, a song writer, a story teller, a self healer, a dreamer, a believer, a seeker, a lover, a visionary, a beauty, a crier, a shouter, a love pusher, a hallelujah pie maker, a dancer, a flyer, a swimmer with dolphins, a jumper for joy, a heart you can climb into, a freedom fighter, a lightening diver, a tree house liver, a farmer, a cultivator, a thumper, a guitar player, a cook, a chef, a streamer, a dolphin, a tree, a star, and a bee, a laugh and a giggle, a dog and a wiggle, a joke and a smoke, a drink and blink, a run and a walk, a choke and a sweet talk. I will meet you and greet you, I will hug you and tug you, I will love you and plug you, I will see you and lead you, I will give large and live large, I will care and I will stare down an issue, I will fight for the love of the planet, I will fight for my love of you, I will send signals of freedom, I shoot arrows of desire, I yell when I'm really mad, and I cry when I am confused, I laugh when I'm not trusted and jump when I'm told not to. I see possibility when others don't, I take risks and not for kicks, I live my dream, and I run to meet what's possible. I am not smart and I am not dumb, I am learning to be me, and learning how to be. I'm learning how to love gently and how to say it all out loud. I am learning how to walk on the earth softly, and how to play with others thoughtfully, I like to inspire myself and others, I believe in humanity, I believe that an indescribable essence has a lot of names that people people fight over, I believe in all the different names, I like life and all its complications, I believe I create my own reality and I hope that one day I will master this one and then say good-bye. I like being a good person who sometimes makes bad decisions. I like trusting in people, and feeling the love and warmth of others, I like being challenged and I love being trusted. I believe I am worthy, I believe I am honorable, I believe I am deserving of a wonderful life, I believe it is possible to forgive everyone no matter what, I believe I create my reality with you and everyone else in this experience. I believe this is an experience and not really real except for the loving part. I believe I come from another planet, a place I forgot but remember on special occasions. I'm in love with a beautiful man who loves me in return. My relationship with him feels special to me: clear and clean, and uncomplicated, and a part of me doesn't know what to do with that. I can be prickly and sour and low for some unknown reason, and the next day feel right again. Not often. but enough to feel like making a weather report. I have lots of animals and I love how each one of them are so different. I live on a piece of land that I talk to and it talks to me back. Her name Adriam Kula a'mo'o, I have learn a lot from her about the elements and that nature is here for us. Yes, I'm a little kooky and different. I never fit and probably never will but some how there seems to be a longing too. I still want to play like a two year old sometimes and dance like teenager. I like yoga and horse back riding and being silly and laughing a lot - a hard hurting laugh. I like loud friends, friends who don't judge me, friends who are okay if I don't call them for a while, friends who like my bigness and are okay when I get small and vulnerable. Which is always these days. I feel like I've been shedding my skin my whole life, and now I am being turned inside out and I've learned to surrender to it this is my chance to say everyting. I've been hurt, I've been crushed, I've been raped, I've been hated, I've been sold, I've been used, I've been judged, I've been loved, I've been forgiven, I've been yelled at, I've been held, I've been hit, I've been sung to sweetly, I've been railed at and pushed to do better, I've been laughed at, I've been labeled, I've been raised up, I've been helped, I've been given chances to do what I want, I've been believed in, I've been taken to the cleaners, I've been tracked down, I've been kissed, I've been hugged, I've been operated on, I've judged, I've forgiven, I've hurt someone, I've yelled, I've hit, I've given chances even to myself. I held myself in prison and didn't know it, I've opened the cage and didn't leave, I realize it's now or never.
All in all, my life has been a bitter sweet experience filled with incredible people to love and care for, to be mad at and a victim of, I've had great opposition which has given me the gift of growth and understanding. I've learned the greatest power can come in a soft expression, and I believe everything and anything is possible. Dreams do come true, and I am living proof that it is true!
I want to walk on the water, walk on the seas, I want to live my desires, I want to set myself free, I want to drink from the lovers cup, and drink it all up, I want to bust out of prison, the prison in my mind.