THAT MAD AHAB

THAT MAD AHAB



The Long and Troubled Story of That Mad Ahab 1944-1989



Part One: Birth of Sound



One particularly balmy winter afternoon in the southern region of post-war Bolivia, a mangy young Scotsman galloped fruitfully through the gravel ridden parking lots scanning the empty space before him for a bride to carry his extra socks and shaving kit. Behold a strong wind lifted many shopping bags in glorious dance across his field of vision until they dropped at his feet revealing in the distance and elephant made of wood leaning against an abandoned Toyota. Behind the Toyota he noticed a set of brown paws and a tail shivering with loneliness and hunger. The sound of that poor shivering tail slapping against the scattered gravel was unshakeable to the Scotsman. Pat! Pat! Pat! It went. Pat! Pat! Pat! The Scotsman was mesmerized. I must contain that sound he though, it rattles my eyebrows and vibrates my toes. It sings to my heart! So the Scotsman employed thirteen Chinese tractor engineers and a Polish speaker-repairman to record the marvelous parking lot rhythms onto analog tape machines so that he could play them at golf parties and Easter brunches and even add horns and rattles and possibly special poetry papers to impress the horde of Scottish women that he would photograph as they passed by his bunk on the ride back to Scotland.

But, the Scotsman was a drunk and a clumsy one at that. He was notorious for dropping the tapes into his toast making machines, mistaking them for pieces of bread during his drunken Bolivian boat orgies, and the pounding of the eject button on his toast making machine pierced the walls and floors of his cabin nightly for months and was emblazoned upon the poor young ears of five little babies who lived in the engine room below.

Eventually when the boat drifted ashore the five little babies grew up, were adopted, became old and bitter, moved to San Diego, re-united and formed the musical revue now known as That Mad Ahab to pursue their hopes and dreams of scoring Reuniti commercials and entertaining anyone who wasnt Scottish and thereby becoming rich and famous and living happily ever after. The end. I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4<