“You want something done right you gotta do it yourself!”
I think Lyndon Johnson probably said that.
And “These days I do just about everything myself.”
…I said that.
So, this is my autobiography, which doesn’t mean that I wrote it while driving a car or while in the back seat of one. In fact, to my knowledge it has nothing to do with an automobile whatsoever. So, I’m not sure why they call it an autobiography but I am sure about one thing…My names not Auto and they do call it an autobiography, that is when you write your own biography.
Before moving on I’d like to take a moment to mention a few things that you will not find here in this autobiography as I have intentionally left out a few things that you may be use to seeing in band and/or artist biographies. The reason for this is that I feel they are irrelevant and in most cases downright obnoxious.
- I will refrain from using a bunch stupid terminology to try and paint an abstract picture for what my music sounds like, what my words read like and what my art looks like.
- I will not include a bunch of flattering quotes from various reviews or articles written by jaded critics, journalists, bloggers, etc.
- Also, I will assume that you don’t care what bands I have played with, what clubs and what cities I have played, who produced my record and what other big names they may have worked with…If you are the kind of person who puts stock in those kinds of things then you should probably stop reading now and begin plotting your exit plan.
Okay so…I wrote my first song at five years old when my mom took me to the mall for some new tennis shoes. It must have been a very inspiring and significant moment in my life considering the creative ingenuity that transpired. The lyrics were as follows.
“I got new. I got new. I got newewewew shoes…” (Repeat x1000)
While the advanced level of skill and artistry within the lyrical content is clear I can assure you that the melody was equally as sophisticated. The song remained in consistent rotation for the following months and was received with mixed reviews from the likes of my mom and dad. A few years later an acoustic guitar was loaned to me and I began writing songs with it. Lyrically speaking I am interested in repeated imagery, metaphors, word play, sarcasm and storytelling. To make a long autobiography short, songwriting quickly became one of my main outlets and has remained so ever since.
While music has remained at the forefront of my creative agenda I have, in my more recent times taken to writing stories both fiction and non. My main goal is to become a great 19th century writer. I imagine the 19th century part is gonna be a little tricky. I don’t have a fancy English degree or any degree for that matter, which is a huge asset because it liberates me from having to follow grammatical rules.
Earlier this year I self published a book of short stories entitled “Haitians in the Crawlspace”. The book contains ten shorts including “Rueben The Vegan Mountain Lion” which is a fictional story about a mountain lion who only eats vegans and a true account of a time that I discovered the remains of a dead body on the river. I also have begun posting articles, essays and short stories on the international interweb under the moniker “Prairie Dog Preservation”.
Other than playing music and writing I do pen on paper illustrations. I am especially interested in traditional cross hatching methods and mazes, which is a type of drawing that takes no attention and allows me to harbor a more subconscious method of art compared to my music and writing, which tends to be more strategic and takes more concentration. I am currently working on a series of mazes in different shapes, sizes and forms that I can only assume will be on display in a very prestigious art gallery sometime in the future.
Aside from my artistic endeavors I am also a self proclaimed historian and archeologist. I attended the University of Encyclopedia Britannica and am currently working towards my masters from the prestigious University of Wikipedia. I find cool stuff in the toolies, locate privies and have explored the Delta extensively. Anyway, I have had a great time writing my autobiography. Hopefully I answered any questions that you may or may not have had.
My Theory of Devolution
I do not believe in evolution in regards to the history of man.
However, unlike many fanatics of celestial prophecy, it is not the theory that I have a problem with, but the title. To evolve would require the ape actually evolving, when in all actuality, the ape did not evolve at all, but regressed or devolved into the degraded state of existence known today as modern man. It is clear to see that devolution is a much more appropriate title.
Evolution would be the case…
If man had evolved to ape.
Recollections of 1979
I was not alive in 1979. I had not yet been born.
The thought of dying always made me a bit nervous until I thought back to 1979 when I was not yet alive. It was at that point that my recollection seemed of some significance and became somewhat reassuring.
I was dead back then and all I can seem to remember is that being dead wasn’t very memorable.
The Telephonic Revolution
On March 6, 1876, Alexander Bell invented the telephone.
The following year some irritating ass invented the ring.
The convenience of telephonic communications needs not explaining - the advantage is obvious.
It is the inconvenience of one annoying and interruptive ring of the telephone that falls just short of Japanese water torture.
The telephone is without a question one of the greatest inventions of all time.
It’s ring however is undoubtedly the worst.
Check it out.
Scott Allbright on Facebook
Scott Allbright on Imeem
Scott Allbright on deviantART
Haitians in the Crawlspace - Short Stories and Essays
Prairie Dog Preservation - Tour Blog
Poor Bailey Record Available on CDbaby.
Poor Bailey Record Available on Itunes.
The following is the official press release for my new cassette tape…
I have decided to release a new E.P. entitled, “Goodbye. I Don’t Care How You Are.” The new E.P. features five new, original hit songs recorded in my state of the art home studio in Oakland California. It will only be released in the form of a limited number of one hundred cassette tapes and will officially go on sale on March 10th, 2009 at 4:30 a.m. pacific standard time.
Supplies are expected to go fast due to the limited number of units being manufactured and the enormous anticipation of the release at hand. In the inevitable event of my becoming the next American pop icon the value of “Goodbye. I Don’t Care How You Are.” is certain to skyrocket, making this an extremely worthwhile investment. I speculate that this E.P. will continue to increase in value at a steady rate over the proceeding years until the event of my death at which time it will triple or quite possibly quadruple in value. By 20 A.D. “Goodbye. I Don’t Care How You Are.” will have become a priceless relic and it’s contents will have set the standard for musical ingenuity for decades to come.
Please understand that owning this rare piece of music history will immediately increase your status and credibility, whether you be an avid music connoisseur, a serious collector or simply another “I heard it first” hipster. Understand also that everyone has an equal opportunity for a chance to own this rare gem as it is available on a first come first serve basis. However, only one hundred of you will actually possess it and go on to become one of the hundred lucky investees. It is also important to note that by possessing “Goodbye. I Don’t Care How You Are.” you may be subject to hostility from the likes of jealous peers and other non-bearing unfortunates. So, if you aren’t sure that you want the attention you may want to think twice before making your purchase.
Also, I must demand that prospective buyers respond in a reasonable and orderly fashion. In the event of a catastrophic event be that of a brawl or a riot I will be forced to take “Goodbye. I Don’t Care How You Are.” off the market and store the remaining cassette tapes in my personal archives until an ulterior method of distribution can be established. So please maintain respect for one another. If you are hard up on cash at the moment due to the current economic state of the world I will be glad to work out a payment plan in the form of five easy payments of one dollar to be paid at your convenience.
Farewell and good luck to all!
.Here's some of my artwork.
The Official Scott Allbright Group
Add yourself to The Scott Allbright Group The place for fans to discuss songs, upload your own photosAnd meet other fans!
Fill out your e-mail addressto be added to Scott Allbright'sMailing list!