Sixty Stories

One afternoon a guy in a green shirt went into the Underground cafe, sat down, and ordered a Sunburger. "Do you want cheese on that?" The waitress asked.



"No," replied the guy in the green shirt, "I'm vegan."



"Well, we put eggs and cheese right in the Sunburger dork hole," said the nasty waitress.



"Well in that case, I'll just have the lentil pate, on bread, with peanut butter."



"Good choice," said the waitress. "That's what John K. Sampson likes to eat too, and look how successful he is."



The guy in the green shirt eyed up the waitress for a moment then said, "Say, aren't you Jo Snyder?"



"Who's asking?" She snapped.



"It's just that I heard you were looking for a drummer. Have you found one yet?"



"Are you interested?" She looked at him intently, something had changed, and she became warm.



"I like you shirt," the guy in the green shirt nervously rolled and unrolled his unused dinner napkin.



"I'll see you at the practice space at seven tonight. Don't be late."



"Thanks. Thank-you," said the guy in the green shirt. He got up to leave forgetting all about his sandwich, too excited to think. As he ascended the stairs leading out to the street, the waitress yelled, "Hey boy!"



The guy in the green shirt turned around and caught the peanut butter and lentil sandwich that was flying through the air toward him neatly wrapped in tin foil, shaped like a seagull.



"See you tonight, boy." She smiled.



The guy in the green shirt smiled back, turned on his heel, and went outside into the bright white afternoon.



( ( ( ) ) )



July 28, 2006, . . us (along with Ben Sigurdson on drums) as PINKERTON, the all-Weezer's-Pinkerton-album cover band. Our one and only glorious show: