robot, creep closer!

So there's like 50 people bitching at me to write a band bio. "Write a band bio," they say, their faces covered in love.



Fine! Here's the bio!



Robot, Creep Closer!, the Best Band in the World, rose from the ashes of the phoenix that we call Shacker (www.myspace.com/shacker). Shacker was a band committed to writing great, if not a little sad, indie, music. They broke up when they all simultaneously won the lottery and achieved self-actualization. Since then, the bassist from Shacker, James Tucci, was punched so many times in the face, his mouth gave birth to a robot, and his human body died. We called that robot "Franz Clobberfist." I know, it's totally lame, but he can't get enough of it. Even lamer than that is the one we call "Philip Punchboy" who used to be Cory Kibler. Cory turned into Philip for his 20th birthday. It was an Easter Basket gift.



Philip and Franz decided to start the Ultimate Rock Band. So they went on a post-apolyptic search for the most awesome other robots in the Galaxy (Lincoln, NE area). They found Kenneth Killclaus, Sadie Snapneck, and the j1717 Model.



I know, I know: "Aren't these names a little bit stupid and kind of silly?" No. They're real names, and they accurately describe what kind of people they are. For example, Sadie Snapneck has a part-time job as a masseuse. The j1717 Model loves J's and the number 17, and he is also a model. Kenneth Killclaus murdered Santa (just kidding, if you still believe in him). I could go on and on, but I'm done.



The music that they play is rowdy, ridiculous, loving, violent, passionate, serene, and most importantly, sexy. You can tell by coming to their shows that Robot, Creep Closer! is dedicated to fun, entertainment, and making people's fucking boners and boxes all hard/moist with their fucking awesome sexy-ass vagina-moistening, penis-hardening music.



Come to one of our many shows, and you won't go home without a boner in your hand and a new love in your heart. I promise. I edited my profile with Thomas Myspace Editor V3.6!

NEW SHIRTS! WHOA YEAH!



  



Holy crud! Pink shirts are sooo HOT! For $10.00 why would you only buy one?



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A brown Robot, Creep Closer! shirt for $10.00?? F*k right!



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