Once upon a time, in central Ohio, amidst the Saturns and vanilla Frostys,
there was a jug band. Not just any old run-of-the-mill jug band mind you. These
boys had the longest beards, the hillbilliest songs, and rarely even played the jug.
They were of course, The Poop House Jug Band.
Breaking the shackles of the traditional jug band genre, the Poop House boys
spent years developing their unique sound. At times pure hillbilly jug band, at
other times hillbilly country band, at still other times hillbilly junk rock band,
always a common thread can be found. That’s right, luxurious facial hair.
A literal mountain of a man, Cowpoke Pete is arguably the best washtub
twanger this side of the Olentangy. Dark and mysterious, Jumbo has been
known to strum, bow or pluck all sorts of stringed things. Perhaps the most
respected mildly retarded hillbilly in Franklin County, Poop House “sings” and
“strums” the “guitar”. Light and not very mysterious at all, The Professor is a
genius of the guitar and also an above average clapper. Which brings us to the
Incredible Hulk of the band (you know, shirtless, an affinity for purple pants),
Stomp Winchester III bangs on things.
This year our boys, over a few late summer afternoons and a few cases of
Faygo grape soda, holed themselves up in the basement of Poop House’s home,
which has affectionately been dubbed “Old Squatty”, and set to the task of
capturing to tape the majestic glory of this ground breaking jug-rock sound of
theirs. Thusly, The Old Squatty Sessions were birthed into a virtually uncaring
world.
The instuments were set up. The room was miked. The songs were played.
The tape rolled. Everything was recorded live with little post-recording mumbo-
jumbo. Yes, those are live fade-outs. Yes, someone is playing the bannister. Yes,
there is a song touting the cleanliness of buttholes sung in the round. Believe it.
Now you, gentle listener, have the enviable honor of owning a pair of ears
that are among the first to hear the results of these ground breaking sessions.
So, grab a PB & J sandwich, a can of grape pop, kick your feet up and wrap those
ears of yours around the hit of the summer: The Poop House Jug Band’s
OLD SQUATTY SESSIONS!
