music. lots of music. years and years playing, writing, theories, experiments, equations. waking up in the middle of the night to draw the diagrams of how to make theories work. there have been so many. so many challenges i have created for myself. sometimes the results were less than, or rather not what i was looking for. but they were always a step closer, and opened up new possibilities. everything in the creation of music is like building planets in empty space. infinite space. when you are driven by the music alone, the journey will never end. music for music. raw discovery. reckless creation. the further you go, the more you will never be the same. the world you live in changes. the less you have to talk to people about. "dude, i was working with my reverb delay pedal today. i also set up my revers delay with it, but it's all about where you put it in the signal chain". "so, did you catch american idol last night?" " no. i was getting my reverb to freak out with my micro synth." you see. the more i went into my mind and feelings, the more i realized that none of my friends did. the more i listened to what i was feeling and opened up those channels, the more pieces of who i was were lost. all of a sudden i had a solar system in my room. worlds created from silent infinity made tangible by way of music. four tracks, pens, journals, bass, guitar, drum machines. tools. how could i sit at bars with my friends and have anything to say anymore. these worlds were being created back at my pad. each one is a different style of music. different melodic structures, approaches, tones, harmonies. lots. then you start combining the worlds. it's crazy. i have done so much just to do it. i have boxes of hundreds of four track tapes. countless journals, sketch books, loose paper, filled with theories, equations, rhythm patterns, scales from chords created. so much more. i have to do it. i am still doing it, and i will never stop. i will never be the same, and i dont want to. the deeper i go, the more i feel connected with the universe. it's hard to explain.
