DESCRIPTION:
Gonna have to put on my best "informercial voice" for this one, because I've actually got something to sell you.

Has this ever happened to YOU?

Bleh. Never mind. I don't like that bit. Look, I, uh... I just highly recommend that you consider buying a copy of this vinyl from Ontario's Schizeophrenic Records, which can be found for sale at the "Support" link below. Because not only will you be recieving a three-track 7" EP from Ottawa's Liquid Assets (https://liquidassets.bandcamp.com/releases), you'll also be receiving a fun little activity to help you bide your time on this miserable Earth. Here's my line of thinking: you've bought a copy of the record, right? So, clearly, your ear canals must be enjoying the... sensuous vibrations that these devastating walls of sound are creating. Therefore, you'd naturally be interested in hearing more from this band... right? Well, what if I were to tell you that there were seven -- yes, SEVEN -- more completed songs from Liquid Assets at the ready, lying in wait, just itching to engage a savage assault on your eardrums? All of these new songs can be within your possession, with one small caveat:

You must buy the record. You must COLOR the cover of the record -- by any means available to you, be it markers, crayons, paint, or otherwise. You then must take a picture of the colored album cover and mail it to theliquidassetsofottawa@gmail.com. From there, the band should email you the seven songs in return. That's it. That's a REAL offer that the band expressly mentioned to me. It's an idea so ridiculous, that I have to at least admire the ingenuity. It's a cute way of getting your listeners to engage with your work.

But yeah. These three songs alone just... kill. I think it'd be well worth the effort to color an album cover with crayons just to get seven more servings of this band's auditory mayhem. Clocking in at a mere four minutes, Liquid Assets blows through its run-time with a complete disregard for self-restraint, its frantic hardcore riffage and vocal tirades quickly bordering on "incohesive" as the rapid-action snarebeats propel the songs to an implosive climax. The record primarily bears a straight-forward, stripped-down punk feel, save for the rose-tinted rock 'n' roll noodling that shamelessly pollutes the album's closing track, "Never Enough", showcasing the colorful instrumentation that the band could easily express if, y'know, they were willing to pump the brakes for a second and not chase after the proceeding chord progression like it owes them money. Regardless, what Liquid Assets has here is as raw, primitive, and ferocious as they come. It's a total brain-buster.

Remember: mail your colored album covers to theliquidassetsofottawa@gmail.com if you want to hear seven more songs from this band. I know I don't have anything better to do, anyways.

TRACK LIST:
The Cage - 0:00
Murderer - 0:52
Never Enough - 1:49

SUPPORT: https://schizophrenicrex.bandcamp.com/album/snc-lava-lamp-ep-the-return-of-the-liquid-assets-of-ottawa
DOWNLOAD: https://www.mediafire.com/file/3z4g8z791xz3xqk/SNC_Lava_Lamp_EP_-_The_Return_of_The_Liquid_Assets_of_Ottawa.zip/file