Kid With Man Head

i always wondered what it would be like to have a potato for a head. i guess it would be pretty cool for a while. you'd probably get really nervous though when your friends are eating french fries. you could never work at a burger place or you'd have all of these hungry frie craving people staring at your head salavating until you flip out and go on an uncontrolable killing rampage while humming a tune of glee. a while back i grew like this corn dog mustache. it was a happening look i had going. i mean, i got a lot of attention most places i went. most people hadn't seen anyone with a corndog growing on their upper lip in a while. chicks really seemed to dig it. the only thing was, i like corn dogs and all, but that smell gets to you after a while. especially when it's like, right under your nose all of the time. sometimes i would be eating chocolate chip mint ice cream and it would taste like chocolate chip corn dog mint ice cream and it made me sick and puke sometimes. so i shaved it off. i kind of miss it now. i'm thinking of trying a new mustache. maybe a tootsie roll or egg noodle. i can't decide which. i decided to go to one of those drive through safari parks once and these two baby baboons crawled on to the roof of the car. it was really cool at first, but then they started ripping the vynil top off and like choking me and scratching up my face and neck. i'm like trying to push them away, but they're in this attack mode and i'm trying to push them away and i accidentally touched that big wet pink butt thing. i have this little bird friend and i gave him a quarter for a phone call like two weeks ago back. so yeseterday i had three crackers and i could tell he wanted some, but i wouldn't share them with him because he's a little dead beat bird and no friend of mine. so he just got really mad and flew off and told all of his little bird friends that i was a dick and not to hang out with me and to give me mean looks. i cant tell they are all saying bad things about me in bird language. i can tell by the way they chirp. can't fool me. i know pig latin also. sometimes my hair catches on fire and i start flipping because my head is burning. so i try to put it out with a big bowl of vanilla pudding and then i feel stupid because my hair smells real bad and i have pudding all on my head. like at the bbq one time. i really didn't like anyone that showed up. so i spread like liquid drain unclogger on the burgers and dogs. when i went inside later, someone nailed me trying to hide some fish in the couch cushions. you love kid with man head.



(transcribed from the hypnotizing spiral of the potatoe head massacre album)