Profile de Hijackalope:
On October 16th, 2003, the CIA under instruction from the White House allocated 13 million dollars from a Halliburton slush fund for Iraqi music reconstruction. Secret tapes recently unearthed show President Bush and Vice President Cheney discussing the matter. Cheney is quoted as saying, "It should sound like Patsy Cline." Bush then responds, "It should sound like Queensryche." They then decide that, "It should sound like a cross between Patsy Cline and Queensryche." Also they agree that all reconstruction musicians should be from Iraq. "We cannot afford to lose Toby Keith," states President Bush. It is then decided to name the operation "Hijackalope" in honor of VP Cheney's version of snipe hunting, which usually ends with the Secret Services having to lead President Bush back to the hunting cabin in the dark.
The CIA scoured its ranks for qualified individuals to head the operation. None were found to "rock hard enough." Using the "Nepotism Act of 2000," (the same act that elected Michael Powell to the head of the FCC, and George W. Bush president) "Weird" Al Jankovic's cousin, "Normal" Al Ivanovich, was chosen to be the band's manager. "Normal Al" was serving as a janitorial specialist at Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota, spending most of his time shooting rats in abandoned missle silos and huffing jet fuel. "Normal Al" was given 3 million dollars, a swiss army knife, and an assortment of lotions from Bed, Bath and Beyond and was dropped from a C-47 over Iraq.
"Recruitment" began immediately. With the Army's resources, potential musicians were rounded up and imprisoned. Despite sporadic mortar fire and subsequent kidnappings and beheadings of band members, Hijackalope played it's first show, Jan. 18th at the Casbah in downtown Fulugia. The show was a success with only a 33% casualty rate. The album, "Weapons of Mass Confusion" skyrocketed up the Billboard Top 7. From all gathered CIA intelligence Hijackalope, "seems to be popular with people who have radios."
We have a website! It's awesome. Please leave this myspace crap behind and visit us for tons of free mp3s, movies and weird shit!WWW.HIJACKALOPE.COM
Hijackalope
Discography
Weapons of Mass Confusion
Boss Dick
Christmas Album
Turn it Off
Music Stoled from the Movie
No Sleep Till Nova Scotia
Spoken Word Tour
Mommas Don't Let
Your Babies
Smurfed Single
Some completely sweet Hijackalope videos you can watch:
