HELLHOUND

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Things you may not know about Hellhound:



Hellhound’s story begins in the year 1706, on a cold, stormy night somewhere off of Bermuda. As the trio of full-blooded Pirates piloted their tiny sloop through the rising swells and crashing waves, they struck a rock and were forced to abandon ship. They were instantly swallowed by the sea, and blacked out in their struggle for air.



When they awoke, they found themselves on a beach with white sands and hundreds of people in strange, colorful clothing. Miraculously, their musical instruments had survived the storm, and were intact on the beach beside them. Unsure of what to do, the trio did the only thing that made sense at the time; they grabbed their instruments and started playing music! They drew a crowd of onlookers, and, to their delight, the pirates had money thrown at them!

When they looked over to investigate their new treasure, the three were distraught that all they received were bits of green paper and shoddy silver. “WHAT BE THIS FOOLERY?” they exclaimed as they hurled the change out into the sea.

“Why, that’s money. We work all day to get it, then we throw it at things later so we can be entertained and fed.” Enraged by such a preposterous way of life (and shoddy treasure), the trio took their instruments and walked off. After threatening a citizen’s life for information they learned that they had been somehow transported to the year 2007! Alone and confused, they explored their new world.



They soon discovered it was a horrible place, as they realized very quickly that the only way to survive was to make money. They realized, however, that they could not live their life as they used to. There were no ships small enough to plunder, no wenches that would let them rape, and every time they tried to steal things on land they were caught and jailed. So they found themselves playing a lot of music on the beach. When they asked the locals about how to make more cash (that is ways to make cash aside from stealing and looting), they were only told to “get a job.” Of course they were totally against the idea, so they just kept playing music in different locations to make more money. Certain listeners would try to have Hellhound listen to the music of present day, and this angered the pirates greatly. They were exposed to music such as “pop rock”, “emo,” “alternative” and “metal,” and it was only the last that they did not despise. This “metal” reminded them of their old lives… of slashing and slaying their enemies at sea. They learned to play this music, and combined it with their own tunes, but even metal could not bring them to accept the world in which they found themselves.

After several weeks of sleeping on the sand and stealing food to survive, they realized that they needed to get out of this miserable world.

They commandeered a sailing ship large enough for the three of them, and sailed their way back to Bermuda. They became lost in a strangely familiar storm, and after almost no time at all they were again swallowed by the sea.



This time when they awoke, they found themselves washed onto the shore of a blackened burning island, covered in smoldering buildings and ashes, Suddenly a great craft fell out of the sky and landed right next to them! To the pirate’s surprise, they were greeted by other pirates! In the weeks to come they were told that the year was now 2157, and learned the ways of these “space pirates.” They learned quickly and happily as they saw that this was the life they wanted to live! They commandeered a ship of their own, and became the most infamous bard-warriors of the galaxy! They spread terror across the known systems, but also spread their metal-infused pirate music! Soon they were kings of their domain.

But they still felt sorry…

For all the people from they year 2007, who would have been pirates, but could not be. Who wanted to listen to good music, but could not, for alas! The 21st century held no happiness.

So with a great explosion and a sonic boom Hellhound sped their space-sloop back to the seas off Bermuda, where they were rushed through time to the year 2007! Now Hellhound wants to play their music for you, to bring a little pirate joy to your life! Let the pirate in you roar, as you enjoy the grinding sounds of SPACE PIRACY!



Sleep tight, don't let the Hellhound bite!