DESCRIPTION:
Senator Whoever

Written and performed by Eric Schwartz

Produced by Stannie Adams and Eric Schwartz

Shot and Directed by Bob McCall

Edited by Emery Emery and Amanda McAlpin

Website - http://www.ericschwartz.com
Facebook -https://www.facebook.com/EricRedSchwartz
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-aristocrat/id786691229
CDBaby - http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/ericschwartz

Lyrics:

Order, order, order everyone
Finish up your doughnuts, set your PDAs to stun
We've got so little time and we got so much to do
And there's this tasty opportunity I gotta share with you

Times are kinda trying in the corporate world today
With the stinky liberal hippydippies standing in our way
They whine about the worker, chain their children to a tree
And they're using all these dirty words like "transparency"

Now they're setting up the barricades and fouling up the street
With the odor of patchouly and their stinky hippy feet
Now they're stirring up the masses and they think they're really clever
But we've got a secret weapon. Meet Senator whoever

He's the latest in technology, a bonafide advance
A walking opportunity, a workaround in pants
Note the flag in his left hand, waving high for all to see
And his right hand set to shake whichever hand that pays his fee

And that, my little piggies, is just where we come in
Our currency is currency, our objective is to win
We buy him suits and wingtips of impeccable design
Then give him golden fountain pens and tell him where to sign

And when we've got him used to all the goodies we provide
And we swear that we'll stand by him long has he stays on our side,
We'll make it clear that if he crosses us his credit we will sever
And mission accomplished. He's our senator whoever

But there's more to this equation then a big campaign donation.
We'll bankroll scads of issue ads 'til we saturate the nation

And all the flag-waving bible-thumpers go for the throats
Of all the whale-savin rump-a-humpers stumpin’ for votes
And they are all too busy making a fuss
To open up their eyes and realize their enemy is us

You may be asking “How’s this different from what we’ve always done?”
Well, after Citizens United, gentlemen, we’ve won.
There is no max With superpacs you cannot over reach
The supreme court finally figured out that bribery is speech

Now, with money buying lobbyists and lobbies buying laws
Someone's gotta sign 'em so let's get behind the cause
And keep your eyes upon the prize, the ultimate endeavor
The purchase of the century, President Whoever
President whoever