Jay Cowit and the Enemys

!!! SEE WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT JAY COWIT AND THE ENEMY'S and THEIR INCREDIBLE APOSTROPHE!!:



"no, i was serious. it's not funny. i'm not adding you.

and i hope you understand that even if you meant it as a joke, you're going to wind up with the intellectual folks (even the cool ones) saying fuck that. it's irritating. it's not confusing, it just makes you look stupid.



have fun with your experiment, and best of luck."

-Intelligent Myspace Patron



NOW FOR THE BIO!



39 Inbred backcountry brothers learned to play instruments on various things around the broken down Enemy household, and subsequently became an ambient country band, despite never hearing anything of the sort, or really ever meeting anyone that wasn't a father or brother or both.



Jay Cowit, an alligator farmer by trade, moved into the brothers' small town, unnamed in hopes of keeping the civilized world away from the strange and terrible Enemy's. He was driving very fast and would have left quickly had he not hit a very large and surly old woman in the middle of a fairly well lit and straight road. He wasn't intoxicated, although the now deceased woman in question had been quite drunk off what the authorites classified as bathtub moonshine, with some traces of lighter fluid and at least some amount of butter. He drove the corpse to the nearest light he could find, which happened to be caused by three of the viscious Enemy brothers lighting a small animal on fire. As things turned out, the animal in question was a medium size alligator, small only because each of the Enemy brothers has hands 5-6 times larger than any known man south of Tennessee and east of Ohio. None the less, the Enemy's were and remain clumsey at best, and at worst, worthless assholes, and so upon turning to look at the oncoming car, the first mechanical technology the brothers had ever seen, the alligator leaped up and bit the third thumb (yes, yes, keep reading) of Leroy Enemy, the 24th youngest Enemy. Leroy gave a freightful scream as his 5-6 times extra-average thumb fell to the ground, with the alligator chewing it like saltwater taffy. At this point, Cowit, who had driven all the way up the garbage littered driveway, saw the situation, sprung out of the car, and jumped quickly on top of the gator. Using his training of 30 years on the mean hard competitive alligator wrestling ciruit (1974 Kansas District Champ), he straightened the alligator up like an ironing board and chucked it end over end into the Enemy household, which proceeded to explode in a near mushroom cloud (the Enemy's had lived on the early testing ground of both the Tuskeegee experiments and the manhattan project).



Luckily, none of the Enemy brother died in the explosion, as most were spending the day fishing in a large puddle that had formed slightly outside their property when a deer had been struck by a '97 Ford Escort and had subsequently liquified. Indeed, upon seeing the feat of Mr. Cowit, as well as having nowhere to live, the Enemy brothers en masse decided to follow him whereever he'd turn to. This seemed fine to Cowit, who had wanted to quit Gator wrastlin' for years, and start an ambient country western band. What is country without big hands, ya know? Besides, the fact that he happened to have the brothers' dead mother in his backseat escaped no one. But the whiskey and drugs eventually helped that.