We here at Weston Boys Entertainment--Dan’s record label--couldn’t
figure out how to do a bio that captures Dan’s personality. We thought
about having him interviewed, but every respectable journalist said
“No.” So, we decided to have him interview himself:
Dan: You’re a very handsome man, Dan.
Mr. Cohen: Thank you, Dan. So are you!
D: Why have you consented to this interview, after years of silence?
Mr. C: Because I want to tell the world about my new whitening
D: Hahahahah! You’re so funny! you’re a funny, handsome man, aren’t
Mr. C: No, really. I want to tell you a little about myself.
D: When did you start playing music?
Mr. C: About a month and a half ago.
D: Ah! And how’s it going so far?
Mr. C: Well, I’ve played lead guitar on the road with Tracy Byrd, Andy
Griggs, T. Graham Brown and a host of others, appeared on national TV
(the Craig Kilborn Show), played the Grand Old Opry a bunch of times,
got signed to a major label recording contract as a member of Stone,
I’ve written with some of Nashville’s best songwriters (Bob di Piero,
Jeffrey Steele, and Don Poythress among them), played on countless demos
and records in the studio, and I’ve recorded many albums’ worth of my own
material. Oh, and I had two top ten songs on the AC Radio charts this year, "Hope You Don't Change Your Mind" and "You Can't Break My Heart," with thousands of spins from coast to coast, plus bragging rights for charting higher than Paula Abdul not once, but twice.
D: So, in other words, it’s not going too well?
Mr. C: No, not really. But I’m very hopeful about the future.
Mr. C: I know what you’re about to ask, so let me just preempt you
here. What’s Dan’s music sound like? If Randy Newman and Nora Jones had
sex while the Beatles were videotaping it, it would sound like that.
D: Ah. You seem pretty comfortable with this interviewing arrangement.
Mr. C: Yes, well, it’s not the first time I’ve been interviewed by
D: What’s this I hear about you and Eleanor Roosevelt? I wouldn’t have
thought she was your type.
Mr. C: Oh, look at the time. Thanks so much for the interview. Bye