craig template

craig template had a happy childhood despite the tragic success of his parents suicide pact. after a 3 month spending spree during which template squandered all 2 million of the generous insurance payout, he found himself washed up in hollywood, making ends meet by becoming a bit part actor, appearing in 'annie 2: part 2' alongside the then unknown "betty curse".



just as his acting career was on the up, the studio doctors daily cocktail of prescription meds & prayer sessions could no longer supress the onset of puberty, forcing template to bind his chest and undergo a humiliating waxing process.



no longer a castrato, template lost his promised role in michael winners 'farinelli'. this combined with the blow of losing his coveted september slot in that years pirelli calendar, led template to move back to britain, where enfant terrible ken russell offered him shelter at his cumbrian farmhouse retreat. sadly this arrangement was not to work as template was forced to take the lead role in russells critically condemned 'the rape of beethoven', filmed in the farmhouse garden and surrounding hills.



template had hit rock bottom. things finally came to a head when touring with a production of 'the 3 sisters' template deliberately set fire to co-stars marian margolis & lesley joseph during the 2nd encore.



after a long spell in the bridget bardot wing of the salpetriere psychiatric hospital in paris, during which he grew out his trademark perm, template returned to london platinum blonde, quickly finding himself auditioning for pop idol. controversially removed from the proceedings after refusing to take the casting couch route offered to him by dr fox, template took his new found self respect and set about recording his debut album, which he then forgot about.