The Red Handed Bandits

Crawling from the darkness of a lonely midwestern cornfield they came. With a burning hatred of all things that made what was considered great music at one time lame. These masked villians armed themselves with an arsonal of musical instuments to carry this message to the general public. "Stop crying about your life, things have been worse. You wan't to play emotional rock? Fuck you. We don't wanna hear about your girlfriend." In order to carry out this mission the team must destroy all things lame about Rock and build a new sound from scratch. America is counting on them. They are:



RYAN "Old School"

High in the skill of double-booking and forgetting to return calls, this contradiction Marine/punker uses his training to do absolutley nothing. This bandit is known for influencing the decision of the local law inforcement community, and uses the art of vocabulary to stun random passers by.



RALEIGH "The Polish Punisher"

This villian was in a terrible accident severing 77 of his fingers, forcing him to play 2 keyboards and a synth with only the remaining 11. He exists only to drop all that he is doing to breakdance to the soothing sounds of screaming technemo. He can speak 2 languages, neither human. fancy dresser.



JULEZ "The Scarlet Bandit"

Biting is this Bandits claim to fame. Furthest from the sticks of Carrolton IL This red-headed bandit makes playing a bass evil again. With a vast knowlege of every thing usless she stuns her victims with meaningles rhetoric.



MIKE "McBomb"

Well trained in the art of beating shit with sticks, Mike has the ability to Drink two mickey's whilst still performing his head smashing sounds. Holding the award as the shortest member ever, but don't let that fool you, Let is be known to all Mike McBomb is a lady killer with mad skills.



Kyle "The Wheel Man"Beating all the other bandits 17-2 on number of DUI's has a secondary career as a comic. Be sure to check out his page for the gross reality that is mind of a drunken hero. Kyle plays a guitar and is a bartender making him the perfect recipe for a shaken and not stirred kinda sound.