The Unicorns

The Unicorns are a three-headed beast; though they were birthed as a two-headed beast in small-town seaside canadiana on an exotic island on the western coast. Nicholas 'niel' Diamonds & Alden Ginger rode pigs to school and hunted wild boar for pleasure (now they adopt a strict fruitarian lifestyle. More on that later). Diamonds ran away from home at a young age, relocating to Montréal - Canada's gay, petit-paris, to pursue a career in homology as it pertains to animal husbandry, then moonlighting as a street strumpeteer in the city's slummier, more historical neighbourhoods, leaving poor Ginger toiling on an increasingly unwelcome island, complete with rampant polygamy and blindfolded barnfights (more on that later).



In Montreal, Diamonds was introduced to J'aime Tambeur, a young hustler from the east end. A hearty friendship ensued.



In February 2003, Ginger was attacked in a knife fight (he escaped with a handful of flesh wounds) & banished from his family home. He boarded a bus & headed towards Montréal, detained briefly in Regina, Saskatchewan on shoplifting charges + impersonating a police officer (C3808), armed only with his trusty 6-string & a few changes of underwear.



When Ginger finally arrived, the 2 boys released some early home recordings to little fanfare, some acclaim & a recording contract with a strange esoteric Japanese label.



Then the 3 joined forces to refine the old songs & occasionally write new ones. After a few productive months, they were whisked away - their first tour - by a group of gypsy elder rock musicians, heading west & being shown the ropes along the way.



By October 2003, after more arrests (drug possession, grand theft auto), self-immolation, and the loss of virginity, the gang, now taut like stretched elastic, returned to their second home (Montréal) only to pull up their roots & leave soon after. but not before the celebrated release of their P.H.D.'d sophomore album which has brought them across the country twice more.



As winter approaches again, the boys head to the sun.



-----------------------HELP! The Unicorns have been kidnapped

and are being held for ransom at the Kastle!

Can you successfully find your way through

the maze and rescue our boys?