Ghostlimb – Difficult Loves

I’m afraid I’m in one of my self-pity ruts and that sucks because if I don’t crawl the fuck out of it STAT, I’ll start in with the shame spiraling and once that shit train leaves the station my life will be all suppositories and sighs, goddamn Modern Family marathons watched with one eye closed because “I just can’t handle the tension” until I finally freak out, get WAAAAAYSTEHD and wake up the next morning foggy and fractured; convinced that I am a hopeless piece of shit whose only real talent seems to be ruining everything.

I’ll feel that way for about two days, relentlessly. On the third day, I’ll finally start to believe that I’m not going to prison and resolve to live a life of relentless creativity in order to balance out the karmic debt carved by my horrors with unprecedented beauty.

That night, when I finally make it home from the salt mines, I’ll sit down (unshowered) in front of my computer, crack a beer and open a blank document. Then I’ll “try.” I’ll try and find some words worth repeating. I’ll try and find a story worth telling. I’ll try and find a record worth edifying. If I’m lucky, I’ll get a few sentences cobbled together in a way that doesn’t make me wish I spoke French. If I’m REAL lucky, I’ll get a page and a half.

Usually, though, after my second fruitless beverage, I’ll go hunting for inspirational distractions, end up with cry porn and by the time I’m sufficiently misty for the growing list of dead pets and friends it’ll be well after 9pm which is too late to eat for a man who chews all his meals like cud and has to get up at 5am.

I’ll eat anyway.

Sometimes this process takes a few days to repeat away.

But today, there’s Ghostlimb and thank GAWD! for them having the decency to release Difficult Loves recently because there’s nothing that rips the dead leaves from my wellspring like three dudes berating the fuck out of me and you and whoever has the presence of mind to accept the mercy of mindful hardcore into their life with all its sawed-off chunk and neckbeard roars and deference to Milan Kundera, Plutarch and Calvino (after whose work, the record is named…I think?) among others and – to be honest – my preliminary embrace of this record was in the spirit of nut-twisting necessity as Ghostlimb has proffered a recklessly pissed conceptual counterweight to my little death bullshit (see above) since Bearing & Distance offered her grim soul to the sea and I was – at once – enamored with a band whose fury would abide by no fucking with but now that I’m boring through the lyrics and sources that shape the indecipherable throat that threads Difficult Loves eleven tracks together, I am smitten with this record because it makes me want to throw my TV out the window and finally finish reading Imperial.

Difficult Loves Tracklist:
A Gobi of Suburbs
Sense of Place
Hostility Compelling
Wall of Books
Difficult Loves
Brushfire
Folds in the Sheets
Nine
Addressee Relocated to Cemetery
Treason Fluently
Life’s Blood

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