Greetings fellow users! As some of you are aware, I’ve started a little user review competition in which the winner receives an automatic feature, as well as a “user spotlight” session. It basically consists of an informal chat in which I ask some personal questions as well as some silly ones.
This week, the winner of this titanic battle was none other than Archelirion aka. AaronIsCrunchy aka. Aaron Chidwick. He was chosen for his neat little review of Gatecreeper’s new album, Sonoran Deprivation – do check it out, if it’s not too much trouble.
Arch’s file photo – might be outdated.
Jac: Alright, I’m terrible at breaking the ice so I’m just gonna jump straight into it. You’re the first non-Aussie to win this review competition in about 5 weeks. How does it feel to have finally dethroned us
Arch: Didn’t realise there were so many Australians on Sput to be honest, let alone writers! Feels good though, gotta return some kinda title to Britain.
Anyways, tell us about the man behind the Archelirion moniker (also, is it pronounced “Arch” or “Arc”?); who is Aaron Chidwick and what makes him tick?
It’s kinda ‘Arc’ as the ‘ch’ is similar to that in ‘loch’. I could tell you the IPA for it, but that’d be pretty fucking lame. But anyway, I’m a 21 year old history student currently living in Portsmouth, UK. I have an unhealthy interest in language, enjoy shit telly and love playing guitar and bass. Was that the kinda answer you were looking for? Or something more… intimate? :3
Nah that should suffice, for now. I think you said you’ve been playing guitar for about 10 years, now. Ever been involved in a band, or have any plans to be in one?
Yeah, that’s right! And nah, sadly, although I admit if I actually made the effort I could possibly get something together. I talked for years about forming a band with a friend of mine, but he’s a massive metalcore fan (of the crabbing kind) and I just couldn’t get into it. I’d like to be in one though, I guess? I bought a recording interface recently so you can expect to hear the first installment of my shit ramblings circa 2019 
What about your good self? 
I have some plans for the future, but I simply need to get better at guitar and find people with similar creative interests. I mean I could probably make some boring OSDM with programmed drums but no one wants to hear that.
I want to hear that 
Also, 2019 you say? Who do you think is gonna get something out sooner: you or Wintersun?
Probably me tbh, we all know how they love to take their time. Theirs will probably not sound like a sticking prodding arse chutney, mind.
You’re not demanding a state-of-the-art studio in space, though. So, not exactly fair. Was any particular group or artist responsible for getting you into music and, if so, what place do they occupy in your heart now?
Dire Straits, in particular Mark Knopfler. It’s pretty cliché, but I don’t think it’d be far off to say that, as a 5 year old with notable issues, Sultans of Swing changed my life. Pretty much decided there and then that the guitar was my favourite instrument. From there I went to Black Sabbath, ‘Electric Funeral’ being the first riff I heard that blew my tiny mind I reckon if I met Mark Knopfler nowadays, I’d have a serious issue not fanboying EVERYWHERE. I’m still in awe of his technique and ｆｅｅｌ, even now.
True that, getting the solos in Sultans to sound right is basically impossible.
It is impossible. I’ve tried countless times. I think the fact he plays fingerstyle is important, which just makes it harder cos I’m a pleb.
Speaking of plebs, what drew you to Sputnik? I mean, the community makes a habit of chewing up new users and spitting them out, so what made you stick around for more than, I dunno… a day?
I remember the first time I heard of Sputnik? It was reading the Wikipedia article on No Heroes and the totally differing opinions between two staffers on it. Don’t entirely know what drew me to Sputnik in the end though. I know what got me starting to contribute was writing a review for Otargos’ ‘Apex Terror’, but for talking… eh. To be honest though, I don’t really think I’ve ever had a thorough mastication. I’d like to think that, by keeping my nose largely clean, I’ve been largely left alone on that front… but it might just be cos I’m boring as shit
Let’s see just how boring: shuffle up your media player of choice and give us your first three results (no cheating).
Hmm. Righto…
Oleander – VNFVRL
Within These Walls – Adrift For Days
Don’t Stop the Dance – Bryan Ferry
One of those was not like the others.
I’ve not listened to any of those, but I’ll take your word for it and assume they’re really boring. Now for the real issues affecting our society, ready?
I was born ready.
Okay, what do you think should happen to people who misuse the word “literally”?
Oh shit, you went in deeeeeeep. I think they should be teamed up and then put in blue bibs. Those who misuse the word ‘pretentious’ can be put in yellow bibs, and then the two teams play that Mesoamerican ball game where the losers get sacrificed to appease the gods. The winner can be allowed to misuse their chosen word as they please.
Damn, son. I would’ve just gone with 10 lashes but that works. You always were the compassionate one.
I think it pays to give these heathens a fair chance :3
Agreed. Alright, I’ve got some either/or questions for you.
Sikh.
1. Cats or dogs?
Dogs :3
2. Coke or Pepsi?
I think they both taste the same. I guess I slightly prefer Pepsi labels though, so Pepsi. ACTUALLY, that natural coke one is a really nice shade of green
Disgraceful.
;_;
3. Books or movies?
We talking fiction books here?
Yeah, why not?
It’d be books I think. I have really bad concentration as far as films go, whereas a book I can come and go to as I please.
Fair choice; lots more room for exposition in books, too.
4. Early birb or night owl?
I flip between the two. I prefer my early birb periods though – mornings are easily the most beautiful time of day.
5. Country bumpkin or city slicker?
Country bumpkin, any day. I grew up in the middle of woodland, and the main thing I miss about living in a city is trees. Still get the sound of foxes violently banging though, so it stops me from getting homesick.
6. N64 or PS1?
PS1, by virtue of never owning an N64. Curiously, a PS1 is the only console I’ve ever owned. And technically, I didn’t own it. So really, I’ve never had a console
7. Existentialism or determinism?
Existentialism. Determinism just seems like a get-out clause for not wanting to take responsibility for life.
We’re on the same page there, although there are things that are out of our control in this world. I find it fun to hypothesise what might happen in a world with no limitations, no impossibilities. So, imagine Toondude gets promoted to a contributor; what’s the first thing you think he’d review and what rating would he give?
I like how that segued :3
I totally didn’t set up the last either/or question just to shoehorn that in there…
Anyway, I’m not sure. It’d probably be a 5 though, start things out on a high. It’d also be the length of a doctorate thesis
Any albums you’d like to snatch the flagged review for should you get the nod next year?
In all honesty though, not really. I don’t think I’ve ever written a review for something that already had a review (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong), so if I snatched the flagged review it’d be for a new album. Or I’d like to give A Forest of Stars’ ‘Opportunistic Thieves of Spring’ a 4.5/5.0 review. Sod it, I’d do that.
I look forward to it. Another hypothetical: let’s say you’ve committed a horrible crime. You’ve tagged Carach Angren as “classical” or given Snide some attention and now he won’t go away. You have to share a cell with AfterTheAscension or AngryLittleDomSupreme – who do you choose and why?
AngryLittleAlchemist :3 He’d be a laugh in one way or another, and I reckon I could get him into Buck-Tick – or at the very least, talk to him about some of their risque-r songs and watch him do his magic. As long as he understands boundaries, that is
That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it?
Yeah, s’pose it is. I’m a taken man, can’t have him trying funny shit on me just because I’m inside. Possibly not the best wording to use, but whatever.
You were put on the spot, so I reckon you did pretty well. Last question, something far more profound. What doth life?
Processing.
Uh oh, I think I broke him.
*explodes*
“What doth life?” set his ponder circuits to spirit see beyond their capacity to digitally simulaculate. This is a defcom 5 level system-wide degenerative thought-tastrophe.
Calling tech-support
It’s okay. All systems are go, better test you out. Here’s a new little philosophical query for you to chomp on: How are Ulcerate so good?
I was scared for a moment there. I was so… cold…
*a little while later*
I’ve spent, like, 4 minutes on this one already. Trying to isolate one thing in particular is basically impossible, so let’s just go with they can do track climaxes like barely anyone else. You’ve only got to hear the end of Soullessness Embraced to understand that :3
Good answer, and I’m afraid to say that I’m out of questions (plus I don’t want to have to phone tech-support for you again). But it was fun, this interview… went places.
Yeah man, this was pretty great, was awesome talking! One question for you, though – what’s your favourite birb picture
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…
Or video, I don’t mind. I just wanna see some birds doing cute or awesome shit
We’ll go with this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlTh37bTzHg
I think everything I am just melted
rip …….aaaaaaaand I think that’s it!
Done! 
.
Catch you on Dub, later!
Later dude!
