VargTube

Published: March 24, 2015

Varg Vikernes, a 42-year-old father of three who lives in France, is only interested in one simple thing: Never shutting the fuck up. At least that seems to be what his Youtube channel is trying to prove.

Burzum would’ve released roughly ten additional records about Orcs if Vikernes spent a little more time with his Casio and a little less with his GoPro. The dude will put up footage of literally anything, even this excruciatingly mundane video about fixing a car to show how self-sufficiency removes helpless dependence on the “system,” though it also demonstrates how a fixed car takes his kid to horse-riding lessons.

In one video he may tell schoolchildren to defy their teachers in order to immunize themselves against toxic brainwashing, while in another he’ll spread urban legend bullshit about Egyptians. It’s a rich grab bag of narcissism, ethnocentrism, the Dunning-Kruger effect and utter tedium.

You may be shocked to find out that he is against feminism, literally claiming it will end humanity, and that he’s a LARPer, but as the man is nearing a thousand videos, and clearly doesn’t have a job, he has thrown out any attempt at quality control, even if it’s a scientifically-unsound rant next to a big bag of fun-sized Twix.

And oh my fucking Odin does he talk about role-playing games. Did you know Stalker the SciFi RPG has a diceless system, called FLOW? You will after tuning into the mundane ramblings of a man that not only thinks role-playing games teach math better than public schools, but is constantly shilling his own “Mythic Fantasy” RPG to the small batch of racist sycophants who praise his sermons in the celebrated halls of philosophical reflection: Youtube comments.

There is one treat in here for music fans, Varg playing some classic Burzum riffs, though it’s usually him cramped in a room with no amp and all captions in papyrus. And this, in turn, is what best epitomizes the modern Varg Vikernes.

Dig through this channel enough and what you realize is that no matter how vile, hateful and destructive a man’s ideology may be, and regardless of his reprehensible past, sooner or later he becomes an old has-been listlessly strumming his unplugged guitar at a computer desk, mourning his glory days and hoping he doesn’t wake the damn kids.

Rock / Metal / Alternative
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