Monkey Dominatrix

It's finished now, for good.



Now you can download all the music we've ever recorded for free:



I Am The Lord Your God, Who Brought You From The Land Of Egypt And Said, "Open Your Mouth Wide, And I Will Fill It." Discography



http://www.sendspace.com/file/ynd8vz



History (as it appears in our discography - if you don't get this, you'll never get the band or the music and you should move on, because this is probably interfering with your Bring Me The Horizon breakxdown, your headband, your beer, and your blowjob from a 15-year-old girl with snakebites):



2006 - 2009: Greensburg, PA



Jon gave Jessie a blowjob to make a band named Monkey Dominatrix with him. The studio project, under the musical direction of Jesse, immediately took off when they began receiving massive amounts of blowjobs from underage girls at the nearby middle school. One girl recounted, "I've never seen balls that big before in my life."



Leprous Schoolgirl Productions signed Monkey Dominatrax via e-blowjob, and the band would play their first, last, and only show ever at Mozart Hall in Latrobe, PA for the what-would-become infamous Hulkamania fest on November 25, 2006. Riots ensued, and each member of Once Nothing was flayed.



The band members recruited Brent G. to be their guitarist for the concert after receiving a sufficient amount of rim-jobs. Though skilled at playing Bullet for my Valentine on an Ibanez 7-string guitar, G-unit had to be trained how to play Jessie's sensational and mind-blowing riffs on the Silvertone Stratoblaster from Media Play. Attempts were made to find a drummer so Jesse could focus on vocals/murder, but various local drummers were too pussy to try that shit. My - er, Jessie's drum beats were too innovative to be taught to ordinary humans. So Jesse remained behind the drum kit during the studio practice sessions in his bedroom.



Promptly after the show and into 2007, Donkey Mombutter rode their success wagon to the drug dealer and began riding the white pony. Unfortunately, they only made about $30 in sales from the first EP, so the smack purchased could barely be seen on Jessie's palm and blew away into nothingness, so they began recording for a second album. Uncharacteristically, Jon and Jesse let G-spot particpate in the recording process, although only his vocals were deemed fit for the album. However, his 7-string was swiftly commandeered by Jessie, showcased on the hit song "(Blow)Job for a Cowboy on Brokeback Mountain."



After a failed Cleveland Steamer, G. was removed from the line-up, and he was sentenced to lethal body massage by the black G.I. Joe guy. Mr. Lethal Body Massage Machine GO!



Jon and Jesse graduated high school and got real-jobs: Jon worked at UPS and Jessie worked at Mailing Specialists, Inc - yes, MSI. Fuck that band. They are a bunch of weeaboo rave-morons who wish they could've thought of this shit and had half the balls to do it. So yeah, Jesse came on your mail, Jon came on your packages, big whoop. New recordings were sparse but becoming increasingly more experimental and exploratory, as can be seen in "Hunny, I Shrunk My Dick," a reimagining of the lounge-jazz breakdown in Texarkana's "Doom Reverb." New band members Brent H. Pussy on guitar and Harry the real African-American on drums joined, then promptly moved to other states after they realized the shitstorm they were in for. Sarlacc offered to do a split cassette and then were captured by the Rebel (scum) Forces. Jessie decided that his time was better spent with Shrike Beats Bee (big mistake), and the Momkey Dominadix dissipated.



After a severe bout of depression and alcoholism, Jesse and Jon decided to stop listening to Joy Division and reform Monica Lewinsky. This was the last time Jon and Jessie would work together, producing the movement-defining "ChaosXcore is Fucking Dead" in response to ChaosXcore becoming a popular tag for pussies like Arsonists Get All The Guys on last.fm.



In March 2009, drama went down. Jesse's toolbag Jess became too fat to transfer both her and his drumset to various shows, so he told her to pay (with her mouth), and when she refused, Jessie soundly donkeypunched her. A local homosexual became offended that he was not offered the prize position of Jesse's semen-receptical and proceded to get butthurt. Then Jon became aware that said gay was not happy with his position as his own cumdumpster, and years of dick-jealousy awakened a feeling Jon had never felt. Jon and Gaybro secretly raped and shaved Jessie in his bedroom and sealed the end for Monkey Dominadritz. If you guys read this, you're fucking stupid.



-Jessie