of all the states of emotion i’ve ever been in, music takes me to the strongest state of emotion the quickest.
· · · — — — · · ·
i have been told that i need to love myself on more than one occasion: do i love myself? well, i have been writing songs about myself(and other people “i love”) since i was 14 years old. i’ve also spent over 300 hours drawing pictures of myself, most of the drawings are necessary in depicting the human condition, that of my own unique experiences. but to spend 5 hours drawing myself blow-drying my hair or the pivotal moment in which i stand before the mirror with a beard that took me a month to grow and contemplate shaving? this one’s good, i actually drew myself drawing:).
i am quite worldy as it may seem, considering my indifference for airplanes. i have been to europe a couple times and spent a while in prague where i developed my drawing style and wrote a lot of songs.
originally from south jersey(represent!), i’ve been dragging myself around new york city.naked it seems for the last 5 years, creating a rather intimate relationship. 3 of those 5 years with a brain tumor, what I’ve come to know today as 2 brain tumors. since, i've had 2 brain surgeries, one on march 16th 2006 and another on dec. 13th 2006…i obviously survived both. this has been an exhausting and enlightening experience, my heart swells for life and all of it’s participants.
having said that.most of the time i can't tell if i'm going to yawn or cry. my music is of pain and distress, uncertainty and love lost…basically things that need to be fixed. if something’s good and happy, why you got to write about it? leave it alone.
your blues, my blues.we are all in this together.
thank you to everyone who has been nice to me(you know who you are).
accustomably i am not one to make a spectacle of a momentous day in my life (e.g. never had a birthday party after i was 12, no going away/coming home bash’s, so on and so forth. however, one year ago today i spent the better part of 13hrs. cranially embraced, dividing me from “my extra self”( a large brain tumor that coiled around my carotid artery with the likes of a bolivian mountain road) :)
may it have been…a tear, a hug, a look, a song, a prayer, an obligation, a magic trick from an unsuspecting magician ;), a golden retriever, velvet revolver’s inspiring look and eclectic collaboration :), an upper west side family’s "tough love", my own family’s real un-conditional love or…i know, i know what it was…it was probably the holy water my grandmother purchased from the TV and squirted at me as i was escorted to surgery.works every time:).
a rough patch would be an understatement, it has been a rough field.
i want to…thank you (falettinme be mice elf agin)
michael disalvo III
3-16-07
"there aint no use in callin' out my name gallike you never done beforeand there aint no use in callin' out my name gali can't hear you anymorei'm thinkin' and a wonderin', walkin' down the roadonce loved a woman a child i'm toldgave her my heart, but she wanted my souldon't think twice it's alright"1-9-07
12-8-06
9-5-06
i have found that i have a second brain tumor post brainsurgery 3-16-06. i do not know what will come of this or how to go about feeling like everything will be ok, but i do know that the sun will shine and i will rise. if i am not smiling or laughing or talking or if i seem to be drifting off while in a conversation.i am just being me, happy within the boundaries of my misery
enjoy the autumn, it's my favorite season.
my first review
by
TRIPWIRE
{click below}
'artist to watch'
un-wanted
i am a storm cloud
i am a lemon
on a sunny day at best
i am the haze
the heat
i am a mistaken gem
a rock
an underestimated being
an existence
undeniable
un-wanted
i am late too early
skinny too much
far too close
unaware
this riddle
riddled weak fear
anxious tumor
crater
i hold tightly
fall short of passion
i dream sturdy levels
of my reality
mistaken destiny
wake nor sleep
dusk nor dawn
i am in between
dying and being born
michael disalvo III
8-9-06
{below, renata's tattoo.}
7*14*06
courtesy of: desmond mooney $ bayside ink tattoo's $ beachwood, NJ
simple twist of fate
i just got this image today 04/26/06(right hand side), my brain without a freakin' brain tumor. some people who stumble upon this might find it gross or disturbing and it's quite possible that i would have identified with you three years ago. brains, neuro bullshit, tumors, anti-seizure medication, hospitals, big ol' scars, double vision and stupid eye patches are all part of my daily life, it's like what iced tea is for you.
since my surgery i've had double vision,
this photo is exactly what i see. (i'll drive!)
my new look for summer.
i will never go to that barber again. 4-14-06
this was the view from my hospital room
over looking central park, i miss that room,
it was way nicer than our apartment.
I know I am lucky…I just have toprove it repeatedly:)
something in my veins, bloodier than blood
the freewheelin' michael disalvo III
won't you look down upon me jesus, you've got to help me make a stand, you've just got to see me through another day.my body's aching and my time is at hand.and i won't make it any other way
up in the morning, look in the mirror.i'm worn as her tooth brush hanging in the stand.my face ain't looking any youngernow i can see, love's taken her.toll on me
so may the sun-rise bring hope where it once was forgotten
alright, thank you.
to contact me outside of myspace:
mikenlife@hotmail.com
"me and white picket fences don't mix"
graham(a.k.a. the golden deceiver)
