Last time I actually sat down and wrote one of theseI was in such a
happy place within. I felt so alive, So blessed,
So thankful for every breathing moment. Its crazy how I still feel the
same Now more then ever. I mean God Blesses me everyday w/ Great Health, Family, and Friends. I feel so lucky to have the My Job and My career.
I love striving to be better everyday!
With that being said.
Emotionally I am broken. I don't wanna be hurt anymore I don't know what is real What is fake Who loves me, or who loves what I do for them so much, that they will say or do anything to keep meEven if its lie.
I try my best every day to do things the right way. People tell me every
day Get out have some fun. Don't work so much, Yet every time I get
out The real world hurts me or lets me down.
I believe we are not promised tomorrow so live every second the way you
want to, Love everyone and don't hurt their pride just to sacrifice your
happiness. I try every day to respect people and honor them and there
beliefs, Yet I always find myself more and more lost.
How do people lie to you and then expect you to trust them? How do they
tell you they love you and then treat you the way someone who hates you
would treat you?
Life Hurts, People Hurt!
I swear I Loved in the purest form. Some things I will just never understand.
I hate questions that you will never know the
answer to.
Some of my pet peeves are people who don't take responsibility for there
own actions, People who Lie, Cheat or steal, People who take life for
granted. I will admit that in my past I have failed at all of these
But at least I can admit it and attempt to work at it.
I am thankful for the true friends I have in my life. And I know I
couldn't do this without them. I just want to be happy 9as we all do) and I wish in a perfect world everyone was happy.
I know things can always be worse
But whats strong to you at the moment feels like that's the worst it can
get.
I live every day trying to be the best I can And when people
hurt me I feel guilty if im mad at them. I don't know how to win. I
don't even know why im writing this I guess just hoping that maybe
this will keep the next person who thinks feelings, truth, forgiveness,
honor, love, ect.are just words. Then maybe I wont attract that kind
of person.
I will continue to do my best And I will never change what Diane
Taught me Treat others the way you want to be treated, Love God, Trust
him, Never make people feel bad to spare your own emotions, If someone is in need give, Never lie Always admit to your mistakes, we are never
perfect, You don't always have to win, Even when you lose you still win,
When someone's weak, Give them strength, Love without wanting anything
Back And the list goes on.
Sometimes I get my hopes up to High. Sometimes I can't forgive, Let me
warn you now I normally have a hard time forgiving things that don't
make sense to me in my crazy mind. If I give you all of me in a pure formand you take advantage.Its hard for me to Forgive.
I PROMISE I WILL WORK AT THIS.
So many people may think im weird Im just being me Im sorry if I
don't do what you do for fun, God Creates us to each be individuals. My favorite thing to do is "WORK".
One of my favorite quotes ever is "God Wont Put Anything In Your Path
That You Cant Handle" I thank god for all my blessing and all my
challenges in Life. I will Never Let you or my Family Down. Please
continue to challenge me to become a better person. You know what I want
and I promised you when I was little I would never let you down, Just
please give me the strength, courage, knowledge, hope, and energy I need
to get what I truly want.
When I was little. my scariest moment was the Northridge earth quake.
Every night before bed I would pray "Please god.Please don't make a
earth quake tonight. Please don't harm me or my family and friends,
Please god don't make an earthquake I promise I wont let you down. I
promise to be good every day for you."
I said that prayer till I was atleast 20 yrs oldand finally moved to
Vegas where earth quaks don't happen very oftenLol. I guess my point
is The earth has still been shaking for me Maybe just not Literally.
So I ask again."Please god.Please don't make an earth quake tonight.
Please don't harm me or my family and friends, Please god don't make a
earthquake I promise I wont let you down. I promise to be good every
day for you."
I still want to meet incredible people and new great friends
I hate living in a world where we have to compete everyday just to fit
in. Lauryn Hill said it best " God created us all differently on
purpose So why do we all try to follow the same standards"Just to
fit in"
I have recently lost myself But want to do whatever it takes to find
me again
I am striving to be happy on the insideAnd that's the hardest thing.
Music is my life
Kanye said it best "We're all self conscious. I'm
just the first to admit it"
I feel like there is complete happiness out there and I want to find it.
"Im gonna keep reaching for the stars! Cause Even If I Miss Im still
TOUCHIN THE SKY"-jd
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