The Official History
The members of the band known as Isambarde came into this world possessed of an intrinsic ability to sing and play their instruments, wow audiences everywhere with their warm patter, good humour, dazzling instrumental skills and generally be booked by everyone. Erm. go and see us (bugger, sorry them) theyre really good erm. thats it
The Real History
Right, now weve established that folk bands usually write their own official histories, blurbs, press packs etc, heres how it really happened. Chris (guitar, vocals) met Em (fiddle, vocals) in 1997 at a festival and promptly lost her number. They met again by chance in 2002 at a folk club. Chris (guitar, vocals, beer) had had a few. He slurred the lyrics to the Beatles I Wanna Hold Your Hand at her in the belief that this was how you chatted up girls. Unfortunately, Em (fiddle, vocals, earwax) heard it as Dyou Wanna Join A Band? Not wishing to give offence, she said yes, and there was a spell of confusion until kind people led Chris (guitar, vocals, manhandled to exit) away and prevented him from making more of a pillock of himself.
Em (fiddle, vocals, unimpaired memory) however, is a woman of her word, no matter how unpalatable the results may be. She had agreed to join a band, and with the resignation of the condemned, rang Chris (guitar, vocals, pounding headache and furry tongue) the following day and asked him when the first rehearsal was going to be so that she could inform her loved ones. Chris (guitar, vocals, confusion brought on by unfamiliar words) made his excuses, hung up, and looked up the word rehearsal in his Musicians Union dictionary. The definition read a trap for the gullible, a pointless waste of time in which sod all is accomplished bar alcohol-fuelled rows. In short, a gig but not paid.
Intrigued by this brave new world of hitherto unencountered words, Chris (guitar, vocals, Emeritus Professor of Semantics) looked up the word gullible. The definition read to be Jude-like, in the manner of a Jude. For more info please telephone 01--- ------. This sounded like precisely the kind of person he needed to get him out of the embarrassing situation of being in a band that didnt exist. He dialed the number and spoke to Jude (oboe, vocals, sudden existential crisis) who joined the band on the basis that there would be whisky and because she hadnt yet learned the word no.
