When I was thirteen, my dad took me to a Christian Youth Service. I met a bunch of people my age, and it was pretty cool. At the end of the night they had an alter call, and on that night I gave my life to God!!! Or did I really? I found out very quickly that it wasn't "cool" to live, and serve God. My friends wouldn't accept that, and soon I didn't either. I was young, and I had my whole life ahead of me. I wanted to see what the world had to offer. I started getting involved with drugs, girls, and was constantly depressed. Very depressed. I had numerous thoughts of suicide, and was always looking for the easy way out. I started venting all my anger, and confusion through music. Hip-Hop was always something I loved, and it was a place I could escape to, but as a teen I was easily influenced by the "Thug Life", and was intrigued by the whole gangster mentality. My music took on that image as well. I was constantly degrading women, talking about killing, getting high, and based my lifestyle on materialism. I was so lost. I felt convicted about my lifestyle for years, but nothing changed. I met my wife, and was trying to live the "right" way, but was confused because I was still making music that didn't reflect that. Until the birth of our son. I really wanted to be a positve figure to him, and to my wife. I was on the verge of releasing a project I was working on, and was trying to find a balance. At this time I was so convicted with everything I was doing. I was in tears constantly. In an attepmt to write off Christian Rap, and have a good laugh, I went to www.godtube.com (lol. these Christians have their own Youtube. pathetic.), anyway. I typed "Christian Rap" in the search engine, and the first thing that popped up was "Praying For You" by Lecrae. After hearing the song, I suddenly realized that God had appointed this moment, as THE moment my life would change forever! I tried to fight it off, but it was very clear what God wanted me to do! I stopped everything that I was working on, and listened. For the first time ever! I wanted to know God! I knew I was blessed with a gift to rhyme, and make music, and it had been wasting away for years. I knew at that moment that it was time to use my music, and all my talents to glorify HIM! Now, with all music aside, I truly understand that Jesus is enough. I would rather spend an eternity in communion, and perfect fellowship with God, than ever making another song again. God is enough.
