This is an Ivor Cutler tribute page.for anyone who knew his stuff, iGuess there's no need to explain why iThink this is needed. For all ye others, iHope it will be an introduction to this great actor, poet, humorist, and above all - humanist, who has now sadly passed away.________________________________A BRICK WALL ________The first thing she noticed about her newborn was that it had no sense of humor. Her husband, who drove her mad with his boring puns, was going to come up against a brick wall, and she couldn't wait to savour his incomprehension._____AN UNHAPPY MEDIUM_____________The excitement of a poet is his vision, and the words. These are not the man himself. Those who talk with a poet are bewildered by his ordinariness and the poet is hurt by their reaction, because he too thought he was more than he is.________________________A REMOTE PORT_______A remote port harbours a lost ship. The sails are washed at the launderette, piece by piece. The wood id scraped with a yellow knife. Dull stores are shipped. Inland transport is poor and costly, passing over a shiny mountain and a snowy desert. Lack-lusture conferences are held in the big cabin following double-edged telephone-calls to the Oslo owners. The men are snugly bunked by lonely sea-windows who have put something by at the post office. The captain becomes a teacher's assistant at a school for ragged children. He uses letters from his wife with news of home as a reading aid. To keep busy, he hollows a cave out of a great sandstone boulder alone in a field. Years pass, but, without natural resources, the town does not change. The captain sails the ship into the open sea, but she sinks beyond the point and he swims to a village two or three miles up the coast where he remains, digging a slow hole through the shiny mountain. _____________________________DOGGED PERSISTENCE___A man looked out the window every night at 6 to watch the sun set. A large house blocked the way and the sun never set at 6 but that did not deter him. Proud and independent, many people admired his dogged persistence for he was not frivolous. His neighbours were unable to renew their large house's insurance and became terrified. _________________________________________________ GONE ____ What's that? A new-laid bone. Don't be daft! Here! Catch! Oh! So it is. Where'd you get it? Down the road, but she's gone now. _____________________________ GOOD HEALTH! ____ A new health shop that sells shoes that spark has opened in town. It's to cure slow veins. You fasten on the shoes and skip about. The skipping moves the veins and the sparks stop you from looking silly. An enterprising restaurant has fitted out its waiters with Sparkies and you have to book to get a table. _____________________ MY SONG ____ I laid my hand in my pocket and fell asleep. The other hand, I laid on the piano. When I woke up I found I had written a lovely piece of music. It was safe in my head, but I didn't know how to get it out. Listen, said my mother, go back to sleep with your mouth open. What else could I do? When I woke, I'd a tooth ache, from a draught in my teeth, but I'd got my song. It was all about what a terrible world we live in. Mother made some tea and my teeth heated up like lightning. Within a week, people were whistling it in the road, and girls crinkled their nose in a smile as I passed. _________________________ POTATO TUNE ____ A horse munches a field. Early evening fetches out singing potatoes. Carrots listen, revolving in their living quarters. I push a wicketkeeper's glove into the horizon, catch the sun, hold the day, hear potato tune for ever. _____________________________ THE EDGE _____ Do not do what I say. All right, say something and I will not do it. I waited and waited and she said nothing. I like not doing things, so I started throwing baked beans one at a time.
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