And Also Available on iTunes! Just Click Here!
Thanks to all who came out to the HIPSTER HANUKKAH HO-DOWN @ Revolution December 23rd! And special thanks to dirty comedian Lou Magelowitz for kicking off the show! We had 100+ rad heebs & goyem come out to celebrate! Video will be posted here soon!
For bookings and inquiries please e-mail: theloxstarz@gmail.com
Straight outta Vegas (well one from Detroit via NYC, one from NYC via PA, and from Queens) -- three jews with nothing to prove, who haven't been to temple in years, and mix milk with meat on a regular basis got together one night and decided to make a joke out of the holy jewish traditions that more religious types hold so dear.
Sure to enrage orthodox rabbis everywhere, MC ETHEL, Jewish Dave, and AVI the OG (Orthodox Gangsta) are comin' atcha with beats, rhymes, and a whole lotta pork.
WHAT THE HELL IS FA-COCK-TA?
FA-COCK-TA is raunchy, hilarious, fantastical comedy hip-hop blending masterful lyrics about sex, whitefish salad, and Sarah Palin with a culturally Jewish, yet never religious twist. They are the kids your Jewish mother warned you about.
Intentionally raunchy, devilishly clever, and a complete affront to anything conservative, FA-COCK-TA are busting on of Vegas with heeb-flavored rhymes that are totally contagious. They're a triple-Jew crew with attitude!
What's more impressive? The lyrical genius of Jewish Dave? The soaring vocal abilities of MC Ethel? Or that Avi the D.O.G (Da Orthodox Gangsta) can drop beats so masterfully while still managing to make a talis this year's fashion statement? Experience FA-COCK-TA live and decide for yourself!
Their debut show at MIST inside TREASURE ISLAND-Las Vegas, happened on Rosh Hashanah 2005 and featured a Manichewitz Martini menu and an Apples and Honey Bar! Their second show at the Las Vegas Bagel Ball found them yaking it up with Jewish singles twice their age -- which means there's hope for them yet! J Date anyone? Check out their website at www.FA-COCK-TA.com and be on the lookout for their debut full length album, LOXSTARS, in December 2008!
A conversation with FA-COCK-TA:
"Think of us as Run D.M.C meets South Park at a Bar Mitzvah", says MC Ethel, the woman of many voices who comprises on half of FA-COCK-TA's writing and producing team. "We're dirty, we're funny, but most importantly, we're highly sacreligious. If a Jew is coming to our show to have some kind of religious experience, it certainly won't be a Jewish one. Now if it's a cute guy.I can definitely give him an experience he won't forget."
"We pretty much fall into the 'sick and wrong' genre, but from what we hear, that's pretty popular these days" says Jewish Dave, FA-COCK-TA's other half. "Ethel and I get our material from all the best places - delis, grandparents, and most of all, our own personal sexual experiences. We've gotta be the sluttiest Jewish rappers on earth."
"Speak for yourself!" barks Ethel from across the room, enjoying her morning bagel with coffee.
"Ok" Dave concedes, "I guess I'm the sluttiest."
Asked if he always folds in the face of Ethel's demands he agrees that this is standard. "She can be kinda bossy sometimes, but hey, if the music is good, all her bitching and kvetching is worth it."
You can catch FA-COCK-TA dropping rhymes about sex, drugs, and pork December 23rd at their "Hipster Hannukkah Ho-Down" album release party inside The Beatles Revolution Lounge at the Mirage Casino Resort. Their debut album LOXSTARS, is now available on cdbaby and itunes.
FA-COCK-TA loves you a lot! Shalom Motherfuckers!
xo -- Avi, Ethel, and Jewish Dave
You Know You're Jewish When
You spent your entire childhood thinking everyone called pot roast "brisket."
You grew up thinking it was normal for someone to shout "Are you okay? Are you okay?" through the bathroom door when you were in there longer than 3 minutes.
Your family dog responded to commands in Yiddish.
Every Saturday morning your father went to the neighborhood deli (called an "appetizing store") for whitefish salad, whitefish ("chubs"), lox (nova if you were rich!), herring, corned beef, roast beef, cole slaw, potato salad, a 1/2-dozen huge barrel pickles, a dozen assorted bagels, cream cheese and rye bread (sliced while he waited) all of which would be strictly off-limits until Sunday morning.
Every Sunday afternoon was spent visiting your grandparents and/or other relatives.
You experienced the phenomenon of 50 people fitting into a 10-foot-wide dining room hitting each other with plastic plates trying to get to a deli tray.
You had at least one female relative who penciled on eyebrows which were always asymmetrical.
You thought pasta was stuff used exclusively for Kugel and kasha with bowties.
You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.
You were as tall as your grandfather by the age seven and a half.
You never knew anyone whose last name didn't end in one of 5 standard suffixes (berg, baum, man, stein and witz.)
You were surprised to discover that wine doesn't always taste like cranberry sauce.
You can look at gefilte fish and not turn green.
Your mother smacked you really hard and continues to make you feel bad for hurting her hand.
You can understand Yiddish but you can't speak it.
You know how to pronounce numerous Yiddish words and use them correctly in context, yet you don't exactly know what they mean. Kinahurra.
You're still angry at your parents for not speaking both Yiddish and English to you when you were a baby.
You have at least one ancestor who is somehow related to your spouse's ancestor.
Your grandparent's newly washed linoleum floor was covered with the NY Times, which your grandparents could not read.
You thought speaking loud was normal.
You considered your Bar or Bat Mitzvah a "Get Out of Hebrew School Free" card.
You think eating half a jar of dill pickles is a wholesome snack.
You buy 3 shopping bags worth of hot bagels on every trip to NYC and ship them home via FedEx.
Your mother took personal pride when a Jew was noted for some accomplishment (showbiz, medicine, politics, etc.) and was ashamed and embarrassed when a Jew was accused of a crime as if they were relatives.
And finally, you knew that Sunday night and the night after any Jewish holiday was designated for Chinese food.
